Be Informed, Be Inspired

Want to make changes in the coming year? Your not alone, each year 40% - 45% of adults make one or more resolution or goal for themselves. Some research suggests that 75% make it past the first week, and 46% make it past 6 months. Okay so alot of us break our resolutions, but statistics on New Year's resolutions show that setting goals for yourself is still a good idea because you are 10 times more likely to attain your goal, rather than people who don't explicitly make goals.

8 Top Tips for NY Resolutions:

Write down your goals - this helps you get clear about what you want.
Be as detailed as possible with the resolution you make, rather than just a vague statement like "I want to lose weight", be specific and say exactly how much by when.
Writing your goal as though it has already been achieved is a porwerful way to trick your mind into acting accordingly.
Make sure your goals excite you - this may sound obvious, but if you are not motivated and excited by your goals you are very unlikely to achieve them.
Put a plan in place once you have written down your resolutions about how you are going to achieve them. Be specific..
Commit to mini goals along the way to celebrate your progress.
Don't become overwhelmed or use your goals as another way to undermine your self esteem if you don't reach them. Be kind yo yourself and make small changes that are sustainable.
Be clear about who you are making your NY Resolutions for and make them for you and not for the approval of others.

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." - Edith Lovejoy Pierce

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY CLIENTS AND FRIENDS

Stay tuned for my 40 Day program which will help you stay on track with those resolutions!

One Minute Stress Test

2011-12-08T15:02:00.000+11:00

1. When I feel agitated, do I know how to quickly calm and soothe myself?

2. Can I easily let go of my anger?

3. Can I turn to others at work to help me calm down and feel better?

4. When I come home at night, do I walk in the door feeling alert and relaxed?

5. Am I seldom distracted or moody?

6. Am I able to recognize upsets that others seem to be experiencing?

7. Do I easily turn to friends or family members for a calming influence?

8. When my energy is low, do I know how to boost it?*

If you answered yes to most of these questions then you are managing your stress pretty well, if not you could benefit from attending a stress seminar or seeing a coaching psychologist for tips and strategies.

*Source: The Language of Emotional Intelligence by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

Are You Teaching People to Treat You Badly?

2011-09-24T13:14:00.000+10:00

The below post is by Adam Dachis and is thought provoking regarding how we reward bad bahaviour, partcularly at work:

Being the Better Person Will Teach People To Treat You Like Crap

We're taught to turn the other cheek—that being kind in the face of hostility is the better way to respond to conflict so love can overcome hate. According to psychologist Clifford N. Lazarus, writing for Psychology Today, that sort of reaction just teaches abusive people that their behavior is effective. Here's why.

It all comes down to something called the "Law of Effect", which refers to the way people interpret and understand the behavior of others. For example, if someone treats you poorly and you treat them kindly, the effect produced by their bad behavior is your affection. By being nice to mean people, you're essentially creating a reward system for bad behavior.

This doesn't mean you should devolve into a complete asshole anytime you encounter one, but it is important to remember that there is such thing as being too nice. When someone does something that bothers you, it's important to take that immediate opportunity to tell them. Being kind is often just an excuse to avoid necessary conflict. You don't have to be a jerk, but you do have to confront the situation or risk encouraging the bad behavior you're seeking to prevent.

Psychology Today
By Adam Dachis

Question that could change your LIFE

2011-09-01T20:57:00.000+10:00

If you Knew You Couldn't Fail..

Power question that really gets you clear about what you truly desire. Answer it honestly and quickly and see what comes out. Make sure you write down your response.

If you knew you couldn't fail what would you do?

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." - Theodore Roosevelt

GO FOR IT. The world needs you yo live fearlessly!

Check out my new Facebook Page to Stress Less

2011-08-04T16:06:00.000+10:00

Check out my Facebook Page called Stress Less Institute for more tips and advice on stressing less or my website: www.stresslessinstitute.com.

0 to 30 Minutes Running in Ten Weeks or Less

2011-08-04T15:57:00.000+10:00

ELEVEN REASONS to get RUNNING

A number of my clients have followed the programme below and had great success, so much so that one has lost 15 kilos and is entering his first 10k Race in September. I actively encourage my clients to exercise, particularly if they are suffering with depression. Some of you may know that I started running a few years back and used the programme below to get started. I ended up competing in the New York city Marathon five months later, lost 10 kilos and as they say if I can do it, so can you! Believe me the first few weeks my sweaty red face was not a pretty sight, but once you get use to it you build up pretty quickly. The benefits of exercise are many and an activitiy like walking/running enables you to:

Get outdoors and get Vitamin D through exposure to sunlight,
It does not cost anything,
You only need a pair of trainers and some sportswear
Social aspect of seeing other people and life around you
This programme only takes 30 minutes 3 times a week
If you have some weight to lose you will
You naturally will gravitate to making more healthy food choices following this programme
Mentally you will have more clarity and physically you will start to notice a difference
Regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressants for mild to moderate depression
Increases your self esteem as you prove that you can follow through on something
and finally believe it or not it is ...enjoyable!

The following running plan uses a one and two day break period. For example run Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. Rest on Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday when a gentle walk can often be beneficial although remember these are rest days. If any week is particularly tiring, just repeat it the following week

instead of pushing to step up to the next stage.

Week 1: Run 2 minutes, walk 4 minutes. Repeat 5 times

Week 2: Run 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes. Repeat 5 times

Week 3: Run 5 minutes, walk 2.5 minutes. Repeat 4 times

Week 4: Run 7 minutes, walk 3 minutes. Repeat 3 times

Week 5: Run 8 minutes, walk 2 minutes. Repeat 3 times

Week 6: Run 9 minutes, walk 2 minutes. Repeat 2 times then run 8 minutes 1 time

Week 7: Run 9 minutes, walk 1 minutes. Repeat 3 times

Week 8: Run 13 minutes, walk 2 minutes. Repeat 2 times

Week 9: Run 14 minutes, walk 1 minutes. Repeat 2 times

Week 10: Run 30 minutes. Repeat once and celebrate!

http://www.beginrunning.com/plans/easy-running-plan-to-start-on/#ixzz1OZ3YTcvJ

GET RUNNING and I would love to hear about your progress.

LISA WALSH SAYS PAUSE

2011-07-01T10:41:00.000+10:00

Look
In
Side
Always

Weaknesses
And
Limitations
Stagnate
Happiness

Stop
And
You
See

Potential
Around
Us
So No

Excuses!

Take time to look at what is working and what isn't, then figure out how to make small and manageable changes in your life to live the life you truly want.

Listen To..

2011-06-13T13:14:00.001+10:00

Listen to the Mustn'ts,child,

Listen to the Don'ts

Listen to the Shouldn'ts

The Impossibles, the Won'ts

Listen to the Never Haves,

Then listen close to me --

Anything can happen, child,

Anything can be."

By Shel Silverstein

Who do you listen to?

Less Excuses = Less Stress

2011-06-12T11:03:00.000+10:00

You can lead a life with less stress, more abundance and contentment. It starts with your commitment to see the things that are not working currently and then tweaking small changes to stress less. As experts in stress management we know with certainty that the stress you experience is down to the way you view situations. Some of us can handle difficult events and others can't, but that does not mean that you can not begin to change your reactions to the stress you experience.

You can lead a life with less stress, more abundance and contentment. It starts with your commitment to see the things that are not working currently and then tweaking small changes to stress less. As experts in stress management we know with certainty that the stress you experience is down to the way you view situations. Some of us can handle difficult events and others can't, but that does not mean that you can not begin to change your reactions to the stress you experience.

The affirmation below is by Dr Wayne Dyer and sums up concisely the excuse we often make and how you can replace it.

Start tweaking today and accomplish great things.

Think Highly of Yourself

2011-05-31T20:50:00.000+10:00

Stop Procrastinating, Start Achieving

2011-05-31T20:44:00.000+10:00

According to a recent poll 20% of the population are chronic procrastinators, does the following sound familiar?

“Making a decision for no valid reason to delay or not complete a task or goal you’ve committed too, and instead doing something of lesser importance, despite there being negative consequences to not following through on the original task or goal”.

If so you are probably a procrastinator, but don't lose heart here we will explore the reasons behind procrastination and most importantly ways to stop procrastination in its tracks.

Negative Self Talk

You may procrastinate due to your negative self talk. In my experience working with clients’ negative self talk is the number one thing that holds them back. Do you berate yourselves about things that you should or should not have done? Often we paralyse ourselves before we get off the starting blocks. If you are consumed with self doubt and criticism begin to become aware of the tapes you play over and over in your mind

Overcomplicating

Over 700 years ago, William from a village called Ockham surmised that “Entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity.” This has become known as “Ockham’s Razor”. This simple idea has become a universal tool for proving things in science, philosophy and psychology. The idea is that the process with the least amount of steps tends to be the one that will have the best outcome or as Elbert Einstein put it: “Everything should be made as simple as possible – but no simpler”. Overcomplicating is just another form of procrastination. We often do this when we are trying to avoid taking action, be it forever planning a project, researching our competition, developing a new service or product. This is often due to fear or lack of belief in our abilities which can lead us to procrastinate far longer than is necessary. In order to be successful you have to bite the bullet and deal with things in a methodical manner, but keep propelling yourself forward.

Complicating facets of our lives also helps shift responsibility away from us, as we try to blame other factors for out lack of action. If this rings true for you, try to become aware of when you are making things more difficult than they ought to be and gently question why you may be doing this. You may be surprised by the answers. Sometimes it can be because we don’t want to actually do the thing in the first place. If this is the case, look at alternatives or if it must be done, try to do it thoroughly and quickly, without overanalysing. As the saying goes “analysis is paralysis”. Don’t stay stuck, take some tentative steps towards your goal and you will reap the rewards. Not only will you feel a sense of accomplishment, but you will also have proof that you can get through things e

Intention

As Albert Schweitzer said “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.” If not you are more likely to procrastinate.

5 Powerful Ways to Stop Procrastination in its tracks:

1. Identify when you are substituting a lesser task in order to avoid the more important task you have committed too. This is a classic way that many of us procrastinate. If you struggle with this, I suggest you read Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy, who states that you start your day by doing the tasks you like least first, so you can then enjoy the rest of your day more.

2. Become aware of the reason behind your procrastination, is it because of fear? boredom? lack of energy? lack of interest? Sometimes it can be because we are simply in the wrong type of job. You need to enjoy your work and if you don't you need to start thinking about how you can or find a job that suits your skills better.

3. If you find yourself reading e-mails several times without starting work on them or deciding what you’re going to do with them, make a commitment to read them once and either respond to them or delete them. I have a client I coach that deletes his entire inbox monthly. He says that if it is that important they will email again or call and it frees him up for more pressing tasks. You may not want to do something that drastic, but do become aware of your inbox and allocate a set amount of time daily.

4. Spending too much time on social network sites at work or at home? Allow yourself a set amount of time daily or twice a day for fifteen minutes and then log off! Easier said than done, but I promise you that you will save so much time.

5. Set some goals. We can easily let time runaway from us and as the hours turn into days, weeks into months and then years we need to question what we want out of life and if indeed we are getting what we want. If you are not satisfied with your life, you are the only one that can change it. Make some clear goals that excite you. Then set a time when you want to achieve them by and work consistently towards those goals.

All successful people work towards goals, so have you written yours yet?

What side of your personality do you show?

2011-04-25T12:10:00.000+10:00

This is a great article from Deepak Chopra about the shadow side of our personality http://www.chopra.com/agnilight/jul10

The Shadow

The essential nature of the universe is the coexistence of opposites. We cannot be a hero if we don’t also contain a coward inside of us. We cannot be generous if we don’t also possess an inner miser. We cannot be virtuous if we don’t have the capacity for evil. Yet most of us have been conditioned to deny our shadow – those hidden places where we repress our guilt, confusion, and pain.

When we wall off the painful parts of our past, the shame doesn’t just go away, it festers and darkens into our shadow self. It seeks recognition and reintegration by erupting as self-sabotaging thoughts and behavior and even exaggerated dark dreams. We also may end up projecting these denied qualities onto other people in our lives. Have you ever known people who continually attract the “wrong people” into their lives? In reality, they are not attracting that darkness, but they are not willing to acknowledge it in their own lives. This is unfortunate because the shadow also comes with a gift: an opportunity to expand our personal awareness and experience our wholeness.

If we want to find our true self, we must dive into the shadow, recover the parts of ourselves that we have split off, and embrace the paradox of the coexistence of opposites. With loving attention, we can heal our past and harness the power of our fully illumined self. How do we do this? I have found the following steps useful:

Step 1: Stop Projecting.

Projection is an unconscious defense in which we ignore our own weaknesses and project them onto others. For example, we may feel incensed about a celebrity’s indulgent behavior because our shadow contains a hidden desire to engage in excess. Projection can take many forms, including jealousy, paranoia, arrogance, superiority, prejudice, and idealizing others. The instant you catch yourself projecting a hidden feeling, you need to contact that feeling and allow yourself to feel it. This isn’t always easy, so be patient with yourself.

Step 2: Detach and Let Go.

You have already begun this process by acknowledging your feelings. Now you need to release the negativity. The most direct way is to set the intention to be detached, centered, patient, and self-aware.

Step 3: Give up Self-Judgment.

While emotions are commonly categorized as “positive” or “negative,” in reality every emotion is valid in some way or another. But when you add self-judgment, any emotion can be damaging. Instead, begin to cultivate sympathy for whatever emotion arises in your experience. Instead of heaping judgment on yourself for what you are feeling, see if you can offer yourself compassion. Doing so will take the judgment out of your emotions and give yourself permission to be who you are.

Step 4: Rebuild Your Emotional Body.

Like our physical body, our emotional body can become diseased, tired, and flabby when it’s exposed to toxins and unhealthy influences. To keep your emotional body energetic, flexible, and a source of pleasure, it needs proper nourishment. Spend some time tuning into to your emotional body and ask it what it needs. If you have been holding on to emotional pain for some time, you may want to consider attending the Free to Love workshop at the Chopra Center, where you will be guided in a deep process for letting go of accumulated guilt, pain, anger, and repressed feelings that continue to create distress in your life. Learn more about Free to Love here.

As you practice these steps, be aware that even most confident, well-adjusted people will reflexively diminish the significance of their shadow side. This is instinctive self-preservation, because it’s hard to accept that we can have this dark matter in us when we have worked our whole life to build a personality around the ideals of love, compassion, and generosity. Nevertheless, when you can look at this material and accept it as part of you, yet knowing that it is not your true essence, then you begin a deep healing of self-forgiveness and re-integration.

Those painful areas that have been holding anger, resentment, and self-judgment no longer have to be shut away in the basement and can now be healed and brought into harmony with your soul. You will also notice that as the contents of the shadow become fully transparent to the light, you will free up all that energy in you that was locked up in your civil war, and it will now be available for more creative expressions and for a fuller appreciation of life around you.

Love, 

Deepak

© Copyright 2010 The Chopra Center at La Costa Resort and Spa

Feeling Blue?

2011-04-08T15:59:00.002+10:00

· feeling sad most of the time
· lost interest in most of your usual activities
· lost or gained weight
· felt excessively guilty
· sleep disturbance
· felt worthless
· had poor concentration
· were very indecisive

Looking at the list above, I think many people may have experienced these symptoms at one time or another, including myself. There is no one single cause of depression and consequently there is no one quick fix either. If you think you may be depressed please seek help, early intervention ensures that you will get the support you need. Be honest about how you are feeling, as keeping things to yourself or pretending everything is fine will only aggravate the illness further.. You deserve to live a life of calm, peace and purpose. As a coaching psychologist I have seen many clients struggle with depression and it skews their judgement, robs them of their creativity, plants seeds of doubt that manifest and fester.

When someone is experiencing depression it is like they are shrouded in a veil which prevents them from seeing things logically or clearly. They may make poor decisions or indeed feel immobilised to make any decisions. Depression can be misunderstood and people can feel that the individual suffering from depression is doing it for attention, or trying to be difficult, they are not. They are genuinely struggling with their emotions and no doubt finding it increasingly difficult to do their job effectively whether in work or at home.

Take action instead of denying how you are feeling if you are depressed, rest assured that many people have experienced depression, including well known celebrities like Jim Carey, Larry King, Marion Keyes, Jessica Rowe and Britney Spears. It is not a life long illness and with support and taking positive steps depression can be managed successfully.

The following link is for a quick depression self test. The site also offers a wealth of information, factsheets and support.

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/depression/howtotell/selftesting.cfm

Stop Procrastinating Now

2011-03-26T20:57:00.000+11:00

According to a recent poll 20% of the population are chronic procrastinators, does the following sound familiar:

…making a decision for no valid reason to delay or not complete a task or goal

you’ve committed too, and instead doing something of lesser importance,

despite there being negative consequences to not following through on the original

task or goal.

If so you are probably a procrastinator.. but don't lose heart here are

5 Powerful Ways to Stop Procrastination in it's tracks:

Identify when you are substituting a lesser task in order to avoid the more important task you have committed too. This is a classic way that many of us procrastinate. If you struggle with this, I suggest you read Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy, who suggests that you start your day by doing the tasks you like least first, so you can then enjoy the rest of your day more.
Become aware of the reason behind your procrastination, is it because of fear? boredom? lack of energy? lack of interest? Sometimes it can be because we are simply in the wrong type of job. You need to enjoy your work and if you don't you need to start thinking about how you can or find a job that suits your skills better.
If you find yourself reading e-mails several times without starting work on them or deciding what you’re going to do with them, make a commitment to read them once and either respond to them or delete them. I have a client I coach that deletes his entire inbox monthly. He says that if it is that important they will email again or call and it frees him up for more pressing tasks. You may not want to do something that drastic, but do become aware of your inbox and allocate a set amount of time daily.
Spending too much time on social network sites at work or at home? Allow yourself a set amount of time daily or twice a day for fifteen minutes and then log off! Easier said than done, but I promise you that you will save so much time.
Set some goals. We can easily let time runaway from us and as the hours turn into days, weeks into months and then years we need to question what we want out of life and if indeed we are getting what we want. If you are not satisfied with your life, you are the only one that can change it. Make some clear goals that excite you. Then set a time when you want to achieve them by and work consistently towards those goals. All successful people work towards goals, so have you written yours yet?

Three techniques to reduce STRESS instantly

2011-03-18T12:07:00.000+11:00

Feeling Stressed? Here are 3 tenhniques to reduce stress instantly:

1. BREATHE

The benefits of effective abdominal breathing have been shown to be benefical to both our physical and psychological wellbeing. Take three full breathes through your nose and out through your mouth whilst keeping your eyes closed.

2. MOVE

Although you may not feel like it, exercising when stressed offers an instant way of releasing pent up stress, whilst flooding your body with happy chemicals known as endorphins. It also helps you become more rational and focused. Just get up and walk around the block and you will return with a clearer head.

3. CONFRONT

Many of us complain to our co-workers about our spouse or other family members and then we get home and complain to our spouse about our co-workers or boss and we wonder why nothing has changed and why we are still stressed. Don't let things fester and get out of control, talk to the person you need to calmly in order to be heard and for things to change.

Are you a Pessimist or an Optimist?

2011-01-31T22:24:00.000+11:00

"...everything can be taken from us but one thing: the last of human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances — to choose one's own way." — Viktor Frankl, neurologist, psychiatrist, author of the classic, Man's Search for Meaning: Experiences in the Concentration Camp, and 25 other books on existentialism, psychology, and meaning

An optimist expects the best possible outcome and dwells on the most hopeful aspects of a situation. He or she believes that this is the best of all possible worlds, the universe is improving, and good will ultimately triumph over evil. An optimist believes no one ever ruined their eyesight by looking at the bright side of life. Research on Emotional Intelligence, Attribution Theory (see Martin Seligman's outstanding book Learned Optimism), and related fields show that optimists not only go farther in life, they also have a much better time on the trip. Optimists are generally healthier, happier, and leaders in their fields.

Pessimists stress the negative and take the gloomiest possible view. He believes that this is the worst of all possible worlds, things naturally tend toward evil, and evil ultimately overshadows good. Pessimists feel that gravity is a myth; the world sucks. She thinks everybody is as nasty as her and hates them for it. When a pessimist feels good, he feels bad because he's afraid of feeling worse when he feels better. Highly devoted pessimists take joy from proving there is no real or lasting joy. If life were a bed of roses, many pessimists wouldn't be happy until they developed an allergy. Pessimists not only expect the worst, they make the most of it when it happens.

Which view is reality? Since we see the world as we are, either view becomes our reality. We choose our outlook. We choose to be an optimist or a pessimist. Here's how former American Secretary of Education William Bennett puts it, "It is a matter of choice. That is perhaps the greatest insight that the ancient Roman Stoics championed for humanity. There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes. And our attitudes are up to us." We may have been given a tendency toward optimism or pessimism at birth, from our upbringing, or through the environment we're now in. However we can decide what we want to become from this day forward.

Make Your Mark in 2011 - 8 Top Tips

2010-12-30T16:03:00.001+11:00

Write down your goals - this helps you get clear about what you want.
Be as detailed as possible with the resolution you make, rather than just a vague statement like "I want to lose weight", be specific and say exactly how much by when.
Writing your goal as though it has already been achieved is a porwerful way to trick your mind into acting accordingly.
Make sure your goals excite you - this may sound obvious, but if you are not motivated and excited by your goals you are very unlikely to achieve them.
Put a plan in place once you have written down your resolutions about how you are going to achieve them.
Commit to mini goals along the way to celebrate your progress.
Don't become overwhelmed or use your goals as another way to undermine your self esteem if you don't reach them. Be kind yo yourself and make small changes that are sustainable.
Be clear about who you are making your NY Resolutions for and make them for you and not for the approval of others.

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." - Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Go for it and on a slightly funny note, take heed from the words of Bridget Jones and start your resolution on the 2nd of January!:

"I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second."

- Helen Fielding, "Bridget Jones's Diary"

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY CLIENTS AND FRIENDS

What Drains You?

2010-11-27T11:27:00.001+11:00

It is an unfortunate part of life that despite our best intentions, there may be people, places, events or things that sap your energy, erode your confidence and paralyse your dreams. You may get a sense that you are not really happy, but are unsure exactly what is preventing you from being happy. Read the statements below and think about the ones that apply to you. This exercise helps to highlight the areas of your life that may be draining you more than you realise:

Work

• I no longer enjoy my job and have a hard time showing up each day

• My work is stressful and leaves me exhausted at the end of the day

• My desk is a mess, and I have trouble finding what I need

• I am avoiding a confrontation or conflict at work

• I tolerate bad behaviour from a boss or colleague

• I am not computer literate, and it gets in the way of my productivity

• I lack the proper office equipment that I need to do my job well

• My work does not allow me to express my creativity

• I know I need to delegate specific tasks, but am unable to let go of control

• I feel overwhelmed with the amount of information that enters my life in the form of books, magazines and email

• There are courses that I could take which would enhance my performance at work

• I stay in my current job only for the money

• I am fearful about losing my job

Relationships

• There are people in my life who continuously drain my energy

• I have unreturned phone calls, emails, or letter that need to be handled

• I have an unresolved conflict with a family member

• I lack quality friendships in my life

• I feel a void in my life created by the lack of a romantic partner

• There is someone I need to forgive

• There is a relationship I need to end

• There is a phone call I dread making, and it causes me stress and anxiety

• I’m currently involved in a relationship that compromises my values

• I miss being a part of a loving and supportive community

• I feel alone

Environment

• My car is in need of a cleaning and/or repair

• My wardrobe needs updating and/or alterations

• I would like to live in a different geographic location

• I have appliances that need repair or upgrading

• My home is not decorated in a way that nurtures me

• My wardrobes are cluttered and need to be cleaned

• Repairs need to be done around my home or apartment

• My home is cluttered and disorganised

• I miss having more beauty reflected in my environment

• I watch too much television

Body, Mind & Spirit

• I eat food that is not good for me

• I consume to much alcohol

• I load up on caffeine constantly

• Something about my physical appearance bothers me

• I do not get the sleep I need to feel fully rested

• I would like to exercise regularly but never seem to find the time

• I have a health concern for which I have avoided getting help

• I have emotional needs that consistently go unmet

• There are books that I would love to read, but never seem to find the time for

• I need to visit the dentist

• I lack personal interests that are intellectually stimulating

• I lack a spiritual or religious practice in my life

Money

• I have tax returns that are not filed or taxes that are not paid

• I pay my bills late

• I spend more than I earn

• I do not have a plan for my financial future

• My credit rating is not what I would like it to be

• I do not have a regular savings plan

• I do not have adequate insurance coverage

• My mortgage rate is too high, and I need to refinance

• I have debt that needs to be paid off

• I do not have a will or it is not up to date

If your current life does not reflect how you would like to live begin to make small changes and honour the person you would like to become. If you have lots of areas that are draining you ignoring them will only exacerbrate the situation. Seek support and make changes.

9 Habits that Age Us

2010-10-19T08:33:00.019+11:00

Many of the habits we adopt have an impact on how fast we age and compromise our health, they include:

Stress
Smoking
Poor Sleep
Alcohol
Poor Diet
Sun Exposure
Not exercising
Resentment
Lack of Joy

All of the above effect not only how quickly our body can age, but also effect our skin. Many of the external decisions you make everyday have a huge effect on how you feel and look. Number 8 is worth a mention, as it has been shown that resentment can eat away at people and lead to a higher incidence of heart disease. So stop resenting others and track what you do want, not what others have or do.

"The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years."

Deepak Chopra

Wishing you an ageless and fun filled day.

Top 10 Unhelpful Thinking Styles

2010-08-03T21:44:00.000+10:00

When a client experiences an unhelpful emotion (eg, depression or anxiety), it is usually accompanied by unhelpful self-statements and thoughts. Often there is a pattern to such thoughts and they are called "unhelpful thinking styles". We often use unhelpful thinking styles as an automatic habit. It is something that happens without us payibg attention to it. However, when a person consistently and constantly uses some of these styles of thinking, they can often cause themselves a great deal of emotional distress. As you read through the following “unhelpful thinking styles”, you might notice some thinking patterns and styles that you use consistently. Some of these styles might sound similar to one another. They are not meant to be distinct categories, but to help you see if there is a kind of pattern to your thoughts.

Top 10 Unhelpful Thinking Styles:

Jumping to Conclusions:
We jump to conclusions when we assume that we know what someone else is thinking (mind reading) and when we make predictions about what is going to happen in the future (predictive thinking).

Personalisation:
This involves blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong or could go wrong, even when you may only be partly responsible or not responsible at all. You might be taking 100% responsibility for the occurrence of external events.

Catastrophising:
Catastrophising occurs when we “blow things out of proportion“., and we view the situation as terrible, awful, dreadful, and horrible, even though the reality is that the problem itself is quite small.

Black & White Thinking:
This thinking style involves seeing only one extreme or the other. You are either wrong or right, good or bad and so on. There are no inbetweens or shades of gray

Mental Filter:
This thinking styles involves a "filtering in" and "filtering out" process – a sort of "tunnel vision," focusing on only one part of a situation and ignoring the rest. Usually this means looking at the negative parts of a situation and forgetting the positive parts, and the whole picture is coloured by what may be a single negative detail.

Shoulding and Musting:
Sometimes by saying “I should…” or “I must…” you can put unreasonable demands or pressure on yourself and others. Although these statements are not always unhelpful (eg “I should not get drunk and drive home”), they can sometimes create unrealistic expectations.

Overgeneralisation:
When we overgeneralise, we take one instance in the past or present, and impose it on all current or future situations. If we say “You always…” or “Everyone…”, or “I never…” then we are probably overgeneralising.

Labelling:
We label ourselves and others when we make global statements based on behaviour in specific situations. We might use this label even though there are many more examples that aren’t consistent with that label.

Emotional Reasoning:
This thinking style involves basing your view of situations or yourself on the way you are feeling. For example, the only evidence that something bad is going to happen is that you feel like something bad is going to happen.

Magnification and Minimisation:
In this thinking style, you magnify the positive attributes of other people and minimise your own positive attributes. It’s as though you’re explaining away your own positive characteristics.

Becoming aware of the patterns you use can help you minimise the power they have over you.

I'll be happy when.....

2010-07-26T20:24:00.001+10:00

1. Happiness is your nature. It is not the fruit of something you do; it is the essence of who you are.

2. Discovering your innate happiness and well-being is the key to creating what you really want in the world around you.

Here is a great extract from Supercoach Micheal Neil's book: 'You Can Have What You Want' about being happy NOW:

Most people’s goals in life are made up of the things they believe will ‘make’ them happy. But as one of my business partners once said to me, ‘If the bottom line is so important, why is at the bottom?’

In other words, if what we really want is happiness, why don’t we start there?

Having now asked this question of thousands of people, the answers generally come down to one of what I consider to be the greatest myth in Western civilization…

I’ll be happy when I get what I want.

This idea has been with us for thousands of years and is endemic throughout all mythology, ancient and modern – that when you battle with a dragon and win, you get the princess and you live happily ever after. Or if you are the princess, you just need to be patient long enough and someday your prince will come and then you’ll live happily ever after.

In fact, people are often willing to endure great hardship on the way to success because they just know there’s a pot of gold at the end of their rainbow – and they plan on using that pot of gold to buy the feelings of happiness and fulfillment that they really want.

To give yourself a sense of how this myth might be active in your own life, think about three or four ways you could finish this sentence:

I’ll be happy when...

I’ll be happy when I’ve got enough money.

I’ll be happy when I’m in a loving relationship.

I’ll be happy when I get a better job.

I’ll be happy when my boss/co-worker/friend stops being such a jerk.

Whatever you’re putting between you and being happy in this very moment is a by-product of the myth of happiness: the idea that when you finally sort out your outer life, your inner life will take care of itself.

But the truth beyond the myth is simple yet profound:

If you’re doing things in order to be happy,

you’re doing them in the wrong order!

When you make happiness your number one priority and allow yourself to follow your ‘happy wanting’, success is not only more likely, attaining it is much more fun.

As Albert Schweitzer said:

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

Meditation Increases Your Attention Span

2010-07-25T11:12:00.000+10:00

In research inspired by Buddhist monks, a new study has found that meditation can seemingly help increase a person's attention span.

The study included 60 people who had previously attended meditation retreats and were familiar with the practice. The researchers assigned half of the participants to study Buddhist meditation for three months at a retreat in Colorado, while the other half waited their turn and acted as a control group.

At three points during the retreat, participants took a computer test designed to measure their ability to make fine visual distinctions and sustain visual attention. As the meditation retreat progressed, the participants showed improvements in their ability to sustain visual attention. This improvement continued for five months after the retreat had ended, especially among those who continued to meditate every day, the study authors found.

"People may think meditation is something that makes you feel good, and going on a meditation retreat is like going on vacation, and you get to be at peace with yourself. That's what people think until they try it. Then you realize how challenging it is to just sit and observe something without being distracted," study author Katherine MacLean said in an Association for Psychological Science news release.

MacLean conducted the study while a graduate student at the University of California, Davis.
The study findings were published in the June issue of the journal Psychological Science.
More information: The U.S. National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine has http://nccam.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm. © 2010 HealthDay

I love this quote, "A free and silent mind is always meditating". Unknown

I know how difficult it can be to find the time and motivation to meditate, but give it a go in the coming days. Just set aside five minutes to sit with yourself and just be.

Would you speak to others the way you speak to yourself?

2010-07-21T15:48:00.000+10:00

"Thinking: the talking of the soul within itself." Plato

What do you tell yourself everyday? Is it:

kind?
true?
helpful?

If it is none of these then become more mindful of the way that you talk to yourself. There is little point in being an enemy with yourself Your mind begins to believe what you tell it, so shower it with love and praise. What resides in you is unique and has great untapped potential.

In my experience working with clients, negative self talk is the number one thing that holds them back. They berate themselves about things that they should or should not have done. Often we paralyse ourselves before we have got off the starting blocks. If you are consumed with self doubt and criticism begin to become aware of the tapes you play over and over in your mind and use the three questions above to determine whether they are useful or not. If they no longer serves you then replace them with positive statements. This takes time, but as they say practice makes perfect.

Unleash The Mighty Toddler Within

2010-07-16T15:15:00.001+10:00

We are born with an ability to get all of our needs met, be it a clean nappy, milk, cuddles, comfort, attention etc. As newborns when we became aware of our empty tummy we would wail excessively, prompting our caregiver into action. This is because our survival depended on it. Then as we became toddlers we have a supreme sense of self worth which allows us to engage with the world expecting to get our needs fulfilled. At this age we more often than not get exactly what we desire. To see this in action, watch a toddler decide that they want a certain toy. Very little will prevent them from getting it!

We can learn a lot from the behaviour of children and how we can incorporate some of their determination and focus into our own lives.

You know the drill, you decide that you are sick and tired of the way things have been and make a pact with yourself to make some changes. You may even write your goals down and have great intentions of achieving them. You can feel that you are on the brink of living a truly awesome life and can taste the sweet smell of success and then what happens? You hit a roadblock and instead of seeing this for what it is, a minor setback which needs a solution, it stops you in your tracks and you retreat into the comfort and often boredom of your everyday life, less determined to step outside of your comfort zone again!

Life was not intended to be lived this way. People who lead amazing lives take risks and are willing to stretch themselves regularly in many aspects of their lives. They are also less likely to be swayed by other people’s opinions, much like the mighty toddler. Many of us feel inspired to live our lives in a certain one or do something which we really enjoy, but stop short of actually doing it for fear of rejection or what others may think or say about us. As the adage goes ‘most people are too busy thinking about themselves to worry about what you’re thinking’. So if you know you are guilty of this, remember it is never too late to become who you might have been.

Unleash the mighty toddler within you and get what you want.

A Quick Read About Feeling & Being Happier

2010-06-23T13:19:00.000+10:00

10 Steps Toward Feeling Happier

An interesting article by psychotherapist Linda Laffey

1. Make the decision to be happy

Life will continue to challenge all of us with its bumps in the road some big, some small. It is your attitude and how you choose to negotiate those bumps that determine how you feel. Adopting an attitude of appreciation for everything you have, and recognizing that you always have a choice about how to respond to external circumstances can contribute significantly to feeling happier.

2. Cultivate a sense of connection

Examine the relationships in your life? at home, at work, and socially. Do you feel connected to the people in your life in a healthy and satisfying way? Do you feel connected to yourself? Through reading, taking a class, meditation, spiritual exploration, therapy, and communicating with others, you can deepen your sense of connection and well-being.

3. Focus on forgiveness of yourself and others
This can be very challenging at times; especially when you feel someone has done something that seems unforgivable. The forgiveness, however, is for you, not for them. It frees your mental and emotional energy to blissfully go forward in your life. There is a saying: 'Holding onto resentment is like letting someone else live rent-free in your head.'

4. Set short-term and long-term goals for making your dreams a reality

Goal-setting gives you something to look forward to, something to work toward, and creates structure in your day-to-day life. As each step along the way is completed, you experience a sense of pride and accomplishment.

5. Find fulfilling work
Having an occupation that you enjoy and has meaning for you gives you a sense of purpose and can be deeply satisfying. If the work you are currently involved in falls short of this criteria, you may want to look at the possibilities for making a change at some point. If changing jobs is not practical, perhaps you could find a volunteer position or hobby that would meet the same criteria.

6. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually
The health of your body enormously impacts happiness. Proper nutrition, regular sleep, and daily exercise that you find enjoyable are essential. Stress reduction through conscious schedule planning, breathing exercises, and meditation can make a tremendous difference. If you already have a spiritual practice or affiliation, seek to deepen it. If you don?t have one, you may want to explore those that interest you to find one that fits for you. Remembering your spirit, feeding, nurturing, and satisfying your soul can greatly increase your feeling of happiness.

7. Be honest with yourself and others
Congruence is the agreement between who you are, what you think and say you want, and your actions. As you become more connected with yourself, your goals, and your self-care improves, chances are you will find it increasingly easier to be genuine and authentic with others. When you really know who you are, what you want, and you are being true to yourself with actions that match, your happiness quotient will go up dramatically.

8. Be open to learning, growing and creating.

Continually expanding your mind through learning can increase your sense of self-confidence. Minds are kept young and sharp by continual use, and mentally active people live longer. Learning is as important to your brain as exercise is to your body. The more you learn, the more aspects of life you can be aware of, appreciate, and enjoy.

9. Manage your money wisely

If you are not already doing so, you can improve your money management by disciplining yourself to save money, keeping expenses low, evaluating your budget regularly, and using extra caution to consider expenses involved prior to starting a family, buying a home or making other large purchases. The old saying, ‘Money can’t buy happiness’ is not entirely true. We need money to pay for food, housing, transportation, and all other necessities for survival and comfort. Financial security is defined as the point at which a person has enough savings or regular income to support a comfortable lifestyle. ‘Comfortable’ means different things to different people. There are two ways to experience being rich: To have great wealth or to be content with what you already have. Once the basics of survival and reasonable comfort have been satisfied, your attitude regarding money becomes much more important than the size of your financial portfolio. Those who know how to use money well in the promotion of happiness are way ahead of those who think they need more.

10. Step out of your comfort zone in the pursuit of pleasure
Most of us tend to become creatures of habit. We eat the foods we like over and over, watch the same television shows week after week, frequent the same restaurants and theatres, and even choose the same vacation spots each year. What we once loved becomes comfortable, familiar, and eventually boring. If you feel stuck in a rut, make a conscious effort to add variety to your life. Try a new restaurant, plan a new and adventurous vacation, visit a museum you’ve never been to, or sign up for that dance class you’ve been thinking about taking. The possibilities are endless, and so are the rewards.

Addicted Too...

2010-05-29T14:58:00.001+10:00

Regardless of whether you are addicted to shopping, drugs, food, drink, porn, technology, exercise, gambling or caffeine the symptoms tend to be pretty much the same.

A good way to measure the severity of your addiction or habit is to think about how you would feel if you could not have or do the particular activity. Does the thought of this freak you out? If so, this is a sign that you are dependent on your vice more than maybe you should be. The above examples are all things which are freely available in our world and we have access to. You may partake in some or all of these activities regularly, but feel that you could do without them. However, over time we may need to do more of a certain thing to get the same high.

Next time you reach for your fix, pause and assess what is happening at that exact moment. Has a disgruntled customer infuriated you? Your spouse irritated you? The traffic ground to a halt? Someone insulted you? You're bored, lonely, afraid, stressed? Whatever it is, let the feelings associated with that situation come up. Now think about alternatives to reaching for your fix. Be honest you know that your fix will not fix the situation, just numb it for a while.

Have the courage and conviction to admit your addiction and then begin to make small changes to overcome it. Seek help from a trained professional.

People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within. R. Anderson

Banishing the Blues Using Exercise

2010-05-22T15:00:00.001+10:00

A recent large scale Gallup survey found that participants who report not having exercised at all in the past week are almost twice as likely to report having been diagnosed with depression as those who report having exercised five to six days.

In the past decade, researchers have conducted studies that follow depressed people over time. Such studies indicate that exercise can ease feelings of depression and improve mood.

Therefore if you are feeling blue, often the last thing you feel like doing is exercising, but trust me your mind will thank you for it. Just a walk around the block, a gentle swim or a yoga class will help banish negative thoughts and release much needed endorphins (the feel good chemical). Exercising also helps you focus on something else for a while. The health benefits of exercise have been well documented, but now we know that exercise has many psychological and emotional benefits too. As the Mayo Clinic (http://www.mayoclinic.com/) reported it can help you:

Gain confidence
Meeting exercise goals or challenges, even small ones, can boost your self-confidence. Getting in shape can also make you feel better about your appearance.
Take your mind off worries
Exercise is a distraction that can get you away from the cycle of negative thoughts that feed anxiety and depression.
Get more social interaction
Exercise may give you the chance to meet or socialize with others. Just exchanging a friendly smile or greeting as you walk around your neighborhood can help your mood.
Cope in a healthy way
Doing something positive to manage anxiety or depression is a healthy coping strategy. Trying to feel better by drinking alcohol, dwelling on how badly you feel, or hoping anxiety or depression will go away on their own can lead to worsening symptoms.

How do I get started — and stay motivated?

Starting and sticking with an exercise routine can be a challenge. Here are some steps that can help. Check with your doctor before starting a new exercise program to make sure it's safe for you.

Identify what you enjoy doing. Figure out what type of physical activities you're most likely to do, and think about when and how you'd be most likely to follow through. For instance, would you be more likely to do some gardening in the evening or go for a walk early morning? Go for a bike ride or play football with your children after school? Do what you enjoy and not what you think you should do.

Set reasonable goals. Your mission doesn't have to be walking for an hour five days a week. Think realistically about what you may be able to do. Tailor your plan to your own needs and abilities rather than trying to meet unrealistic guidelines.

Don't think of exercise as a chore. If exercise is just another "should" in your life that you don't think you're living up to, you'll associate it with failure. Rather, look at exercise as a gift to yourself.

Address your barriers. Figure out what's stopping you from exercising. If you feel self-conscious, for instance, you may want to exercise at home. If you stick to goals better with a partner, find a friend to work out with. If you think about what's stopping you from exercising, you can probably find an alternative solution.

Prepare for setbacks and obstacles. Give yourself credit for every step in the right direction, no matter how small. Go for it.

Why Work & Wellbeing are Related

2010-05-18T11:21:00.002+10:00

Most of us equate wellbeing with wealth and health, but that's not the whole story, according to Gallup's comprehensive study of people in more than 150 countries which revealed five universal, interconnected elements that shape our lives .

Extract taken from interview with Rath and Harter, Gallup Management Journal http://gmj.gallup.com/content/127643/Wellbeing-Need-Thrive.aspx

For more than 50 years, Gallup scientists have been exploring the demands of a life well-lived. More recently, in partnership with leading economists, psychologists, and other acclaimed scientists, Gallup has uncovered the common elements of wellbeing that transcend countries and cultures. This research revealed the universal elements of wellbeing that differentiate a thriving life from one spent suffering. They represent five broad categories that are essential to most people:

Career Wellbeing
How you occupy your time or simply liking what you do every day
Social Wellbeing
Having strong relationships and love in your life
Financial Wellbeing
Effectively managing your economic life
Physical Wellbeing
Having good health and enough energy to get things done on a daily basis
Community Wellbeing
The sense of engagement you have with the area where you live

Career Wellbeing is probably the most underestimated of the elements. When you ask people what affects their wellbeing most, they think of health and wealth. Even though people spend more of their waking hours at work than anywhere else, people underestimate how work influences their overall wellbeing and daily experience.

All the aspects overlap. But when we were studying Career Wellbeing around the world, we quickly found that this element is much broader than the traditional workplace. It's more about interest and purpose and whether people have a chance to use their strengths regularly. Along with studying people with traditional careers, we studied students, stay-at-home parents, retirees, volunteers, and people without a regular nine-to-five job. In any of these life situations, there are many people with thriving Career Wellbeing, and there are also many who are struggling.

When people think about work in general, they often think of it as a burden or something they have to do for money. Regardless of how much we've studied and talked about engagement and its importance - and quality of the workplace and its importance - most people think of work as a chore, not something that benefits their wellbeing.

Work is crucial to how we relate to people and evaluate our lives at a very basic level, so ensure you are happy at work and if not make changes to improve your Career Wellbeing. Our wellbeing is related to each of the five elements and underlying these there is often a deep spiritual connection or intuition which drives all these elements to fuse together.

Lightbulb Moments

2010-05-11T11:45:00.000+10:00

We all have experienced lightbulb moments where things just fall into place or we see things with a new insight which we never had before. Often we chase after these moments particulalry when we feel that the missing piece is just out of reach. We may go to a health retreat, a church, take a vacation, see a therapist, read, journal, but more often than not:

“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”Franz Kafka

Give it a go today and see what happens, even just for two minutes. Let go and let the lightbulb shine itself on you. We all having an inner knowing which if given the chance to be uncovered will support us deeply.

Learning from your Parents

2010-04-30T20:47:00.000+10:00

Are you spending your life not being who you truly want to be. Do you only act in ways that you think people expect you to? Over the years we have been conditioned to conform to ideals, often set by our parents. These ideals are often outdated and may no longer serve you as an adult. Our parents did the best they knew how with what they had at the time and you will do the same. If you find yourself going over things your parents did or said or indeed things that you think they should have done or said, then resist doing this. You are an adult now and need to take responsibility for the way your life is today. I recognise for some people this is hard to hear, but it is imperative you forgive or forget the actions of your parents in order to thrive today.

Another way in which we are also often deeply affected by our parents is in the form of 'carried shame', a term coined by the psychotherapist Pia Mellody. This is when we feel guilt or shame for the actions of our parents. We were not responsible for what our parents did when we were growing up. We may feel that they did not achieve enough, were not good enough, made poor choices or did not do enough for us. Whatever it is we often carry shame that actually does not belong to us. Your parents may very well feel shame and guilt for certain way in which they raised you, but why should you?

Heal the wounds from the past in order to move on to the wonderful future you deserve.

Feeling Stressed?

2010-04-30T14:11:00.001+10:00

Having conducted research on stress and taught the subject for many years I am still surprised by how little people actually understand and more importantly the huge negative effects it can have on one's life. So here is an in-depth look at stress.

Life can be full of hassles, deadlines, frustrations, and demands. Is stress is so familiar to you that it has become a way of life? Stress isn’t always negative. In small doses, it can help you perform under pressure and motivate you to achieve great things. But when you’re constantly running in emergency mode, your mind and body pay the price.

If you frequently find yourself feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, it’s time to take action to bring your nervous system back into balance. You can protect yourself by learning how to recognize the signs and symptoms of stress and begin to take steps to reduce its harmful effects.

Stress Definition

"Stress is the body's reaction to a change that requires a physical, mental or emotional adjustment or response. Stress can come from any situation or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, nervous, or anxious."

The Body’s Stress Response

When you perceive a threat, your nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones rouse the body for emergency action.

Your heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and your senses become sharper. These physical changes increase your strength and stamina, speed your reaction time, and enhance your focus – preparing you to either fight or flee from the danger at hand.

Stress is a normal physical response to events that make you feel threatened or upset your balance in some way. When you sense danger – whether it’s real or imagined – the body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction, or the stress response.

The stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life – giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.

The stress response also helps you rise to meet challenges. Stress is what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you'd rather be watching TV.

But beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, and your quality of life.

Effects of chronic stress

The body doesn’t distinguish between physical and psychological threats. When you’re stressed over a busy schedule, an argument with a friend, a traffic jam, or a mountain of bills, your body reacts just as strongly as if you were facing a life-or-death situation. If you have a lot of responsibilities and worries, your emergency stress response may be “on” most of the time. The more your body’s stress system is activated, the easier it is to trip and the harder it is to shut off.

Long-term exposure to stress can lead to serious health problems. Chronic stress disrupts nearly every system in your body. It can raise blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, contribute to infertility, and speed up the aging process. Long-term stress can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.

Many health problems are caused or exacerbated by stress, including:

• Pain of any kind

• Heart disease

• Digestive problems

• Sleep problems • Depression

• Obesity

• Autoimmune diseases

• Skin conditions, such as eczema

How much stress is too much?

Because of the widespread damage stress can cause, it’s important to know your own limit. But just how much stress is “too much” differs from person to person. Some people roll with the punches, while others crumble at the slightest obstacle or frustration. Some people even seem to thrive on the excitement and challenge of a high-stress lifestyle.

Your ability to tolerate stress depends on many factors, including the quality of your relationships, your general outlook on life, your emotional intelligence, and genetics.

Things that influence your stress tolerance level

• Your support network – A strong network of supportive friends and family members is an enormous buffer against life’s stressors. On the flip side, the more lonely and isolated you are, the greater your vulnerability to stress.

• Your sense of control – If you have confidence in yourself and your ability to influence events and persevere through challenges, it’s easier to take stress in stride. People who are vulnerable to stress tend to feel like things are out of their control.

• Your attitude and outlook – Stress-hardy people have an optimistic attitude. They tend to embrace challenges, have a strong sense of humor, accept that change is a part of life, and believe in a higher power or purpose.

• Your ability to deal with your emotions. You’re extremely vulnerable to stress if you don’t know how to calm and soothe yourself when you’re feeling sad, angry, or afraid. The ability to bring your emotions into balance helps you bounce back from adversity.

• Your knowledge and preparation – The more you know about a stressful situation, including how long it will last and what to expect, the easier it is to cope. For example, if you go into surgery with a realistic picture of what to expect post-op, a painful recovery will be less traumatic than if you were expecting to bounce back immediately.

Am I in control of stress or is stress controlling me?

• When I feel agitated, do I know how to quickly calm and soothe myself?

• Can I easily let go of my anger?

• Can I turn to others at work to help me calm down and feel better?

• When I come home at night, do I walk in the door feeling alert and relaxed?

• Am I seldom distracted or moody?

• Am I able to recognize upsets that others seem to be experiencing?

• Do I easily turn to friends or family members for a calming influence?

• When my energy is low, do I know how to boost it?

Source: The Language of Emotional Intelligence by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

Causes of stress

Top Ten Stressful Life Events

1. Spouse’s death

2. Divorce

3. Marriage separation

4. Jail term

5. Death of a close relative

6. Injury or illness

7. Marriage

8. Fired from job

9. Marriage reconciliation

10. Retirement

Source: Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory

The situations and pressures that cause stress are known as stressors. We usually think of stressors as being negative, such as an exhausting work schedule or a rocky relationship.

However, anything that puts high demands on you or forces you to adjust can be stressful. This includes positive events such as getting married, buying a house, going to college, or receiving a promotion.

What causes stress depends, at least in part, on your perception of it. Something that's stressful to you may not faze someone else; they may even enjoy it.

For example, your morning commute may make you anxious and tense because you worry that traffic will make you late. Others, however, may find the trip relaxing because they allow more than enough time and enjoy listening to music while they drive.

Common external causes of stress

Not all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be self-generated:

• Major life changes

• Work

• Relationship difficulties • Financial problems

• Being too busy

• Children and family

Common internal causes of stress

Not all stress is caused by external factors. Stress can also be self-generated:

• Inability to accept uncertainty

• Pessimism

• Negative self-talk • Unrealistic expectations

• Perfectionism

• Lack of assertiveness

What's Stressful For You?

What's stressful for you may be quite different from what's stressful to your best friend, your spouse, or the person next door. For example:

• Some people enjoy speaking in public; others are terrified.

• Some people are more productive under deadline pressure; others are miserably tense.

• Some people are eager to help family and friends through difficult times; others find it very stressful.

• Some people feel comfortable complaining about bad service in a restaurant; others find it so difficult to complain that they prefer to suffer in silence.

• Some people may feel that changes at work represent a welcome opportunity; others worry about whether they'll be able to cope.

Source: ehealthMD.com

Signs and symptoms of stress overload

It’s important to learn how to recognize when your stress levels are out of control. The most dangerous thing about stress is how easily it can creep up on you. You get used to it. It starts to feels familiar – even normal. You don’t notice how much it’s affecting you, even as it takes a heavy toll.

The signs and symptoms of stress overload can be almost anything. Stress affects the mind, body, and behavior in many ways, and everyone experiences stress differently.

How do you respond to stress?

The following table lists some of the common warning signs and symptoms of stress. The more signs and symptoms you notice in yourself, the closer you may be to stress overload.

Stress Warning Signs and Symptoms

Cognitive Symptoms Emotional Symptoms

• Memory problems

• Inability to concentrate

• Poor judgment

• Seeing only the negative

• Anxious or racing thoughts

• Constant worrying

• Moodiness

• Irritability or short temper

• Agitation, inability to relax

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Sense of loneliness and isolation

• Depression or general unhappiness

Physical Symptoms Behavioral Symptoms

• Aches and pains

• Diarrhea or constipation

• Nausea, dizziness

• Chest pain, rapid heartbeat

• Loss of sex drive

• Frequent colds • Eating more or less

• Sleeping too much or too little

• Isolating yourself from others

• Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities

• Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax

• Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)

Keep in mind that the signs and symptoms of stress can also be caused by other psychological and medical problems. If you’re experiencing any of the warning signs of stress, it’s important to see a doctor or a psychologist for a full evaluation.

Dealing with stress and its symptoms

While unchecked stress is undeniably damaging, there are many things you can do to reduce its impact and cope with symptoms.

Learn how to manage stress

You may feel like the stress in your life is out of your control, but you can always control the way you respond. Managing stress is all about taking charge: taking charge of your thoughts, your emotions, your schedule, your environment, and the way you deal with problems. Stress management involves changing the stressful situation when you can, changing your reaction when you can’t, taking care of yourself, and making time for rest and relaxation.

No news is good news..

2010-04-02T15:06:00.003+11:00

Whether in the car, work, cafes, at the hairdressers, online or in the comfort of your own home, it has never been easier to connect to the latest news. We are now exposed in a very short space of time to breaking news happening across the other side of the world. How does this actually help us? Very often it doesn't. If anything it can make us more fearful about the world in which we live. We hear about stabbings, bullying in schools, rape, burglaries and before we know it we are glancing over our shoulder as we walk down our street frozen with fear.

Crimes have always taken place since the beginning of time, but back then you would only be aware of crimes in your local community. Now however, we hear about crimes from all over and although crime statistics are relatively small in comparison to the general population, we are nevertheles now far more paranoid and vigilant than ever before.

In our tech savvy world it is becoming harder and harder for the media to hold our attention for longer and in a bid to keep our attention they ensure that our evolotuniary buttons are being pressed. Brodie in the interesting book 'Virus of the Mind' discusses this at length and proposes that we have three evolutionary buttons which are based around:

Fear
Sex
Food

Clearly if these needs are not met we fail to survive or reproduce. Now think about the news you hear and how these are nearly all interwoven into the story. These three 'buttons' are powerful ways to get our attention. Start to become aware of how heavily they are used and the feelings they conjure up as you heat them.

Be mindful of the information you allow yourself to be programmed by. Remember your time is valuable, so don't let the media use it up scaring you about things which are totally unrelated to you or may never happen. If you feel agitated, tired, sad or fearful after watching the news then stop watching it.

The 3 C's of Addiction

2010-03-15T12:49:00.001+11:00

For many years, experts believed that addiction stemmed only from using powerful drugs or alcohol, however now it is recognised that excessive behaviours such as gambling, shopping, and sex also can lead to addiction. The hallmarks of these common problems are:

The 3 C’s:

craving for the object of addiction, which can be mild to intense
loss of control over the use of the object of addiction
continued engagement with the object of addiction despite adverse consequences

Several scientific advances have shaped our understanding of addiction. For example, new brain imaging technologies have revealed that our brains respond similarly to different pleasurable experiences, whether derived from drugs or behaviors. Genetic research has uncovered that some people are predisposed to addiction, but not to a specific type of addiction.

If you think you might have an addiction, seek help to get it under control. Don't let it control you. You deserve to lead an abundant and fun life and if your addiction is preventing you from this then take control.

Foods that harm, foods that heal

2010-03-03T14:40:00.003+11:00

Bombard with to much information regarding food? I am really interested in how food effects our emotions. As a coach I have seen clients who are feeling low, tired and lacking in energy. Besides tweaking their thought patterns and helping them to plan and organise their lives better, diet and exercise are imperative to seeing improvements in one's life. When a client adopts a healthier diet, the benefits reach far beyond the scales. They are more focused, confident and generally happier. Therefore I urge you to think about the food you are consuming.

The foods highlighted in brown are the one's that you should really limit. Start to be mindful of what is added to your food next time you are in the supermarket. You may think that you are buying a tin of tomatoes, but do you realise how much sugar and salt is added?

Wheat
Caffeine
Sugar
Dairy
Vegetables
Fruit
Wholefoods
Beans & pulses
Lean meat & and fresh fish

For more information I recommend the books listed. I have a copy of each and found them really helpful. Joshi's book really does live up to it's claims, one of which says "If no-one comments within two weeks on how great you're looking - you must be cheating."

Top 4 Reasons to Learn - Why enrolling in an Adult Education Class is a great idea

2010-02-17T12:54:00.001+11:00

1. Increase your confidence
Doing a short course allows you to flourish in ways that you may have thought were not possible. Finally doing something that you have always wanted to do will help make you a happier and a more fun person to be around. This new lease of life is infectious and helps to encourage others to explore new possibilities. This in turn increases your confidence and makes you more interesting to others. Take the leap and you will not only meet likeminded classmates, but you may also surprise yourself when you realise how capable you are.

2. Learn a new skill
Ever wanted to learn how to play the harmonica, speak Italian, understand bookkeeping or improve your psychic abilities? Well now you can. Try something that you have always wanted to, but have dismissed it as unachievable or unrealistic. The beauty of a short course is that it allows you to dip your toe in to get a feel for it, without exposing yourself fully or paying hefty tuition fees.

3. Take time out for yourself
Whether you work, are retired, look after the family you deserve to take time out for nurturing you and only you. Make a commitment to yourself, rather than everyone else. Your family, friends and colleagues will benefit from your new found happiness. What’s a couple of hours a week out of your busy schedule? Ditch the television or the ironing for one night a week in exchange for gaining more clarity about who you are and what you enjoy doing. Go on your worth it.

4. Earn more money
Enrolling in a short course gives you the opportunity to gain more experience and maybe a qualification in your chosen career. Whether you want a promotion or are returning to work after a break, learning a new skill or improving on a familiar one, is a great way to help you earn what you’re worth. Who knows it may even enable you to change careers and do what you feel you were born to do.

Don’t put off an adult education course for another term, take the plunge now and reap the rewards in all areas of your life.

What is the best version of yourself?

2010-02-08T20:37:00.002+11:00

When you are being the best version of yourself, what does your life look like?

When you are being the least liked version of yourself, what does your life look like?

Thinking about the worst version of yourself helps you get perspective about areas of your life that are not working. This version of yourself no doubt limits you in so many ways and makes you unhappy and unmotivated. Therefore, if you know how good being the best version of yourself feels, why would you want to live your life any other way? The benefits of being the best version of yourself are endless and you deserve those benefits. You are worthy of great things.

If completing this little exercise has made you aware that you are not being the best version of yourself, then don't despair just start to make incremental changes towards your best self. Believe me if will eagerly repay you and help you along the way. Start by doing something small today towards regaining the best version of yourself. The key to regaining your best self is not to get overwhelmed, just take it slow and make tiny little changes daily. The changes that are required are different for everyone and you have an inner knowing as to what those changes should be.

Here's to being the best version of you!

The Importance of Sleep

2010-02-05T20:29:00.004+11:00

Why Do We Sleep?

Philosophers, scientists, psychologists and researchers have struggled with this question for centuries. We do know that it assists our body in recuperating from the day’s activities.

A brain imaging study at Harvard Medical School found that sleep deprivation effects the emotional brain by excessively boosting the part of the brain most closely connected to feelings of depression and anxiety. Whereas a good night’s sleep helps you regulate your mood and cope with the coming day’s challenges.

Sleep has recently been linked to learning and memory. New findings, in animals and humans, suggest that sleep plays a critical role in storing important memories, both intellectual and physical, and also seeing subtle connections that may not be apparent during waking. Therefore there may be something in it when peoples say “sleep on it.”

So we know the importance of sleep, but that does not necessarily mean we get enough of it. A recent survey conducted by the American National Sleep Foundation of more than 1000 participants found that:

50 % suffer insomnia symptoms twice a week
40% are spending less time asleep
33% often wake up during the night
60% do not get the recommended 8 hrs sleep
31% sleep less than 7 hrs a night
§ 22% are so tired it interferes with daily activities twice a week
If you can relate to any of these statistics, you can make simple changes to see radical results.

Top Tips for Good Sleep:

1. Exercise your body as well as your mind daily, ensuring you are physically as well as mentally tired.
2. Avoid caffeine four hours before bedtime as it can interfere with sleep.
3. Go to bed and get up at the same time daily.
4. Only sleep and make love in your bedroom.
5. Have a routine before bed to relax, such as taking a bath or lighting a candle.
6. Ensure your bedroom is peaceful, clean and somewhere you want to spend time.

Happy sleeping!

Are emails taking over your life?

2010-01-22T12:39:00.005+11:00

Clients that I have coached have often cited being overwhelmed by emails as a cause of stress in the workplace. Sound familiar?

It is very hard to be productive and creative whilst reading emails that are often of no relevance to you. Now more than ever we are inundated with emails from friends, strangers, colleagues and they not only clog up your inbox, they also waste your valuable time as you sift through to find the emails that are actually relevant.

How often have you missed a vital email which actually contains much needed information? If so then my top 10 tips below will get you organised:

1. Respond to emails as you read them, that way you only read them once. If you require further information, call the person directly and get what you need.

2. Set aside 15-30 minutes a day to sift through your emails.

3. Be ruthless and delete emails that are not relevant.

4. Spend a little time organising your email facility, so you can swiftly put emails into different folders.

5. If you have colleagues that CC you on everything, when it is not necessary then kindly ask them not to.

6. If you have an alert facility on your computer, iphone or blackberry turn it off. Choose a time when is convenient for you to read your emails, rather then being sidetracked from what you are doing.

7. Resist the temptation to read or respond to emails when not at work unless absolutely necessary. You may think this is harmless, but it makes it more difficult to turn off from work and be in the present moment.

8. Think about spam in the same way as you do junk mail which you receive through the post. Most of us hardly notice this type of mail and just put it straight in the recycling bin.

9. Try to resist the temptation to read emails that contain jokes or are chain emails as they not only distract you from working productively, but also eat into your time often without you realising.

10. Think before you press send. If you have written an email in haste, put it in your draft section and re-read it later in the day before you send it.

“Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of.” -
Benjamin Franklin

The Power of Intention

2010-01-20T13:11:00.004+11:00

“Intention is the starting point of every spiritual path. It is the force that fulfils all of our needs, whether for money, relationships, spiritual awakening, or love. Intention generates all the activities in the universe. Everything that we can see – and even the things we cannot – are an expression of intention’s infinite organizing power.

As the ancient Indian sages observed thousands of years ago, our destiny is shaped by the deepest level of our intention and desire. Once we plant the seed of an intention in the fertile ground of pure potentiality, our soul’s journey unfolds automatically, as naturally as a bulb becomes a tulip or an embryo becomes a child.” Deepak Chopra

The quote above eloquently demonstrates how powerful intention is. Therefore I urge you to set clear intentions and then watch how things almost magically appear to help you on your path. The key to this is for you to be pro-active. There is little to be gained from having clear intentions, but doing nothing to manifest them. Deepak has written extensively on this subject and more information can be found at his website: http://www.chopra.com/

What will you be doing in a decade?

2010-01-01T21:29:00.004+11:00

As a new decade dawns, can you envisage where you will be in another decade? Look back over the past ten years and you will most probably feel that it has whizzed by. As the new millennium was rung in, did you have grand plans and resolutions? Have you achieved them? If so, congratulations, if not what stopped you? Lack of time, money, inclination, worry, fear, laziness, self doubt? Whatever it was don't lose heart, as it is never to late to make positive changes in your life. Coming up with great plans and ideas is one thing, but taking action to see the results is quite another.

Successful people clearly decide what they want and then do things each day to move them closer to achieving their goal. I particularly like the quote by Sir Ranulph Fiennes; "Decide what you want to be and once you have, go for it at once and with all your might."

Don't wait for the perfect time to start something that you are passionate about, begin it now. If you wait to long, life can pass you by and before you know it you may look back and say "If only I could have seen what I should have been."

Make a commitment to set aside a little time over the next few days to start planning what steps you are going to take to achieve all you desire in the coming decade. Regardless of whether it is to change jobs, have a better car, more money, bigger house, more time, give more to charity, you and only you can achieve it. Now fast forward in your mind to 2020 and think about how you will feel knowing that you have taken steps to achieve all you want. Know that you deserve all this. I am cheering you on from the sidelines.

What are your Re-solutions for 2010?

2009-12-22T12:49:00.007+11:00

As another year draws to a close you may find yourself spending time reflecting on the past twelve months or indeed the past decade as the noughties passes us by. Take stock of your successes as well as your failures. It is important to honour your accomplishments in the past year and congratulate yourself on how well you have done.

As you turn your attention to what the coming year may hold, think about what changes you may want to make. Do you want a better car, new home, to lose some weight, change jobs? Whatever it is, it is possible to achieve these things, but it is down to you. I heard a quote recently which makes alot of sense: "Nobody can push you into the success you deserve." If you are not really happy with your life and how the last twelve months have been, then now is a great time to think about what is not working and how you could make changes to get more of what you do want. Did you make re-solutions last year? If so, did you keep them? If not, explore why. Were your resolutions accompanied by a plan to help you succeed or were they just a sweeping statements which you make every year?

In order for your life to really change and to not be in the same situation next year you need to take action towards achieving and keeping your resolutions. Your resolutions needs to have a practical solution and get you excited when you think about them. It was reported recently that 90% of people that make new years resolutions break them within the first month. Don't be another statistic next year. Decide on what you want and then set about achieving it.

Wishing you a fabulous and successful 2010.

What is the best version of yourself?

2009-12-14T13:42:00.006+11:00

When you are being the best version of yourself, what does your life look like?

When you are being the least liked version of yourself, what does your life look like?

What springs to mind? Write it down quickly without thinking to much about it. You may be surprised by your answers. Interestingly, when we are being the best version of ourselves other parts of our lives seem to follow suit. For example, managing household chores, our wellbeing, our work all seem to have a certain ease and grace which enables us to complete tasks effortlessly.

Thinking about the worst version of yourself helps you get perspective about areas of your life that are not working. This version of yourself no doubt limits you in so many ways and makes you unhappy and unmotivated. Therefore, if you know how good being the best version of yourself feels, why would you want to live your life any other way? The benefits of being the best version of yourself are endless and you deserve those benefits. You are worthy of great things.

If completing this little exercise has made you aware that you are not being the best version of yourself, then don't despair just start to make incremental changes towards your best self. Believe me if will eagerly repay you and help you along the way. Start by doing something small today towards regaining the best version of yourself. The key to regaining your best self is not to get overwhelmed, just take it slow and make tiny little changes daily. The changes that are required are different for everyone and you have an inner knowing as to what those changes should be.

Here's to the best version of you!

The Reality of Reality TV

2009-12-08T08:20:00.004+11:00

I was prompted to write this after being awoken having dreamt of a guy having pec implants! I traced the origins of this back to a programme that I had been mindlessly watching the day before. It was a reality show where a bride and groom agree to have cosmetic surgery and not see each other for the month prior to their big day. Now call me old fashioned, but I find this pretty extreme and somehow sad that these people are willing to put themselves under the knife all for vanity. However I did give it an hour of my time in order to see the end result!

This got me thinking about how I use tv and how the flurry of reality tv programmes enables us to focus on the flaw's of others, rather than think about our own. We happily judge and idly gossip about another's behaviour without having to dwell on ours. Funny that many people say that they do not have time to focus on the things that are important to them, but yet they find the time to focus on things that will be meaningless in a few short days or months. We are often quick to judge the lives of others we see on tv, but are unwilling to clean up our own.

Through reality tv we get caught up in the lives of others and in turn we allow others to determine what we focus on. Have you ever found yourself watching tv when you know you should be doing something important like attending to your family? Or looking at people on tv enviably because they are doing what you long to do? Yet you prefer to attend to the remote control.

If so, then it is not to late to reclaim those lost hours. I am not saying that you have to stop watching tv completely, just choose more carefully what you watch and when. Decide how much and when you want to use your tv, rather than just having it on for the sake of it. Watch what you really enjoy and gain value from and ditch the rest. Remember the people on the screen are strangers and forever will be. Don't let your own greatness pass you by whilst lounging on the sofa watching life, but not living life.

Unleash The Mighty Toddler Within

2009-12-07T08:04:00.007+11:00

We can learn a lot from the behaviour of children and how we can incorporate some of their determination and focus into our own lives.

You know the drill, you decide that you are sick and tired of the way things have been and make a pact with yourself to make some changes. You may even write your goals down and have great intentions of achieving them. You can feel that you are on the brink of living a truly awesome life and can taste the sweet smell of success and then what happens? You hit a roadblock and instead of seeing this for what it is, a minor setback which needs a solution, it stops you in your tracks and you retreat into the comfort and often boredom of your everyday life, less determined to step outside of your comfort zone again!

Life was not intended to be lived this way. People who lead amazing lives take risks and are willing to stretch themselves regularly in many aspects of their lives. They are also less likely to be swayed by other people’s opinions, much like the mighty toddler. Many of us feel inspired to live our lives in a certain one or do something which we really enjoy, but stop short of actually doing it for fear of rejection or what others may think or say about us. As the adage goes ‘most people are too busy thinking about themselves to worry about what you’re thinking’. So if you know you are guilty of this, remember it is never too late to become who you might have been.

Unleash the mighty toddler within you and get what you want.

Stop trying to change your past..

2009-11-30T19:55:00.006+11:00

Sounds strange, but many of us try and do this again and again. We endlessly obsess, re-live, revisit or replay scenes from our past in the hope we will gain a better understanding or clarity about our present lives. Some things are best forgotten and to waste more of your valuable energy revisiting them makes no sense.

For instance someone may have upset you that you do not particularly care for, so why then do you give away more of your valuable energy discussing it with anyone within earshot? We all fall into this trap sometimes, but the key is to become more aware of when you are doing this and stop yourself. Change the topic, no matter how difficult it is. This may seem hard to do in the beginning, particularly if you are having a juicy venting session with a friend, but think about it, does the person you are discussing deserve more of your precious time? Move on and let it go.

We also fall prey to trying to change our past. For instance you may feel that your parents did not do their best for you whilst you were growing up. Acknowledging and exploring this may be important, but be wary of letting it dominant your present life. As Dr Robert Holden puts it

"To be really happy, you have to give up all hopes of having a perfect past."

What a powerful quote, none of us have had a perfect past, but that does not have to dictate our present or future life.

Focus on all the things that are great in your present life and whilst you're at it show yourself some serious care and acknowledge how well you have coped with things in your past that were difficult.

Focus on what you want.. how hard can it be..?

2009-11-27T13:41:00.004+11:00

Focus on what you want.. how hard can it be?

We often hear how we need to focus on what we want and not what we don't want. The films the Secret, Heal Your Life, What the Bleep Do We Know and The Shift discuss this which is also commonly known as the law of attraction or manifesting. There is also a myriad of books now available on this subject. The basic idea is that you attract the things you desire into your life by focusing on them. Easier said than done I hear you say..

Well here are 5 strategies which will help you get focused and start attracting what you do want:

Get clear about what you honestly want in your life - the more precise you can be about what tou desire, the more opportunity it has of showing up.
Speak it into existence - Start to talk about your dreams and hopes confidently and know that they will come true.
Surround yourself with like minded people - Avoid energy zappers and only share your vision with those who are excited about what you want to achieve.
Be open to new experiences and take risks - Just focusing on what you want and talking about it unfortunately is not not enough, start to take steps in achieving your goals. Join a networking group, learn a new skill, get a mentor or coach. Whatever it is take action to move you in the direction you want.
Know that you truly deserve what you desire - This is often hard for us to do as we may feel that others deserve their success, but somehow we are not worthy. Try to limit this type of thinking and know that there is more than enough for everyone and you deserve to be prosperous and fulfilled.

Happy manifesting!

Is what you believe, true?

2009-11-17T20:48:00.010+11:00

The title of this blog is to probe you to ponder about what you actually believe!

We often go through life not really questioning what we have become to believe is true. Or why we do things that do not make us happy or repeat experiences that we know have negative outcomes. Sound familiar? We all do this to a greater or lesser extent and the reasons for this can include, self sabotage, self doubt, fear of success or failure and concern of what others will think.

It can also be due to messages we received from parents and people around us when we were growing up. These messages however subtle can influence us greatly in later life. We have formed a set of beliefs which we defend and justify furiously if needed. However, on closer inspection it is interesting to see where these beliefs originate and if indeed they are true or helpful to us. They may have served a purpose in our early years, but need to be replaced now.

An example of a belief that is not helpful could be that you believe that people don't want you to be successful. On closer inspection you may be able to pinpoint when you first adopted this belief and then look at how this belief may have negatively impacted on you in different areas of your life. We often realise that these beliefs have no substance to them and are a faulty belief that we have often picked up from someone else.

Now the good news is that these beliefs can be replaced and in a relatively short period of time. In the same way that you can decide to have champagne and strawberries for morning tea, instead of your usual latte and muffin, replacing beliefs works in the same way. Make a conscious decision to replace a negative belief. In the example we have used, you could replace the belief that people don't want you to be successful with 'everyone I come in to contact with is helping me to succeed in all I do'.

This may feel a little awkward initially, but with a bit of practice it will become natural. It will also make a big difference to what you achieve from now on. Give it a go and see what happens.

M&M's.. Motive, Method & Maintenance

2009-10-29T05:09:00.007+11:00

Motive

Take a moment to think about what truly motivates you? What spurs you into action? What things are you truly passionate about? What gives you the most joy? What motivates you is personal and it is imperative not to go along with other peoples interests when you know it is not your true passion. We may do this at work or with family members. We pretend that we want something in order not to disappoint others. However, this always ends in disappointment as we cannot sustain the level of enthusiasm or commitment needed to fulfil the goal. Get really clear about what it is you want; be it in your personal, spiritual or professional life and then set about taking small steps in that direction.

Method

When you are thinking about the steps you are going to take, brainstorm the method you will put in place to achieve these goals. For example it is all well and good saying you are going to lose 10 kilos by Christmas, but how are you going to actually do this? It could be to plan and prepare meals at home and walk to the shops instead of hopping in the car. Regardless of what it is unless you have a method in place which you are disciplined in enforcing, you will fall short in achieving your goals. How many of us have great ideas and plans, but do little to help them become a reality? If you are guilty of this, then start to think about ways to change things.

Maintenance

Okay, so you are clear about what motivates you and how you are going to achieve your goals, but what happens once you do? It is all to easy to congratulate ourselves and then to fall back into old habits. Therefore when setting goals, think about what maintaining them will look like. What balance do you need to strike that stretches you, but is manageable? and ultimately it has to bring you joy. If something is a chore or you don't enjoy it, you will not be able to maintain it and why should you?, as surely part of our purpose is to find out what we love doing and then go right out and find ways to do more of it.

So next time you are setting a goal, think about the 3 M's and I wish you every success in living an abundant life.

What Makes You Feel Great?

2009-09-26T21:28:00.003+10:00

"Don't ask what the world needs - ask what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Reverend Howard Thurman

The quote above beautifully demonstrates how what you are really passionate about and love doing is what the world wants. Strange occurrences and synchronicities begin to fall into alignment when you are living the life you were meant to lead.

Look back at periods in your life when you felt really great and fulfilled:
What were you doing?
Was it a special project?
With a certain person?
In a different country?
In a past job?

No matter what the circumstances were, you can replicate that sense of purpose and fulfilment again. When I think back on the times when I was most content it was actually when I was fundraising. Not only was I fulfilled, I was also highly productive. Things which I needed would show up in unusual ways. People would come forward and offer assistance, often for free.
An example of this was when I decided to train for the New York marathon for a charity which helps children suffering from leukaemia. I organised a charity ball and strangers offered assistance with things such as decorating the venue, entertainment on the night etc. This clearly demonstrated to me that when you are in alignment people pick up on that and want to help.

So think about when you are happiest and fulfilled. It may be a hobby which you love, but don’t think you could make money doing it as a job. Or it might be a job you had a few years which you really loved. Look to other people who have done what you aspire to do and find out their story.
Start doing more of what makes you feel great and you will begin to feel even greater! Reduce or eliminate the things which make you feel bad and unmotivated. You might need to:

· improve your diet
· exercise more
· talk to negative people less, (see my entry on energy zappers for more info on this)
· sleep more
· stress less

Take baby steps on your road to feeling great, but above all be true to your real self.

Do you make things harder than they need to be?

2009-09-23T14:33:00.006+10:00

Over 700 years ago, William from a village called Ockham surmised that

"Entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity."

This has become known as “Ockham’s Razor”

This simple idea has become a universal tool for proving things in science, philosophy, psychology and theology. The idea is that the process with the least amount of steps tends to be the one that will have the best outcome.

Or as Albert Einstein said:

"Everything should be made as simple as possible - but no simpler."

Therefore we should not overcomplicate things. We often do this when we are trying to avoid taking action, be it forever planning a project, or what we are going to do in the future or researching a paper, but spending little time actually writing it! This is often due to fear or lack of belief in our abilities which can lead us to procrastinate far longer than necessary. Successful people bite the bullet and deal with things in a methodical manner, so why don’t you?

Complicating facets of our lives also helps shift responsibility away from us, as we try to blame other factors for our lack of action. If this rings true for you, try to become aware of when you are making things more difficult than they ought to be and gently question why you may be doing this. You may be surprised by the answers. Sometimes it can be because we don’t want to actually do the thing in the first place. If this is the case look at alternatives or if it must be done, try to do it thoroughly and quickly, but without over analysing. As the saying goes “analysis is paralysis”. Don’t get stuck at this stage, take some tentative steps towards your goal and I promise you, you will reap the rewards.

What you should know about advertising & your self worth

2009-09-18T15:46:00.002+10:00

In our fast paced, workaholic, consumer obsessed society now more than ever we are feeling immense pressure to look good, be slim, own the latest beauty products and the hippest bag all in an attempt to keep up with the Jones’ or should I say the Hiltons’. Australia, the UK and America are three of the richest countries in the world, but recent reports suggest that we feel far more deprived than our predecessors. The reason for this in part is due to our insatiable appetite for all things celebrity. We are bombarded with trivial information about the lives of the rich and famous. We often aspire to have the things that our favourite celeb has, whether it be a Gucci handbag or the latest pair of Jimmy Shoes.

Advertisers are fully aware of the power of celebrity endorsements and use them to sell everything from slimming aids to hair dye. L’oreal is a truly multinational company and boosts ownership of the Body Shop and luxury brands such as Ralph Lauren and Giorgo Armani beauty products. Their infamous slogan ‘because your worth it’ was reportedly developed to justify the higher costs of their products compared to other leading brands. The slogan has proved hugely successfully and creates the illusion that you deserve to treat yourself to L’oreal products, partly due to the celebrity endorsements. This links into our feelings of self worth and esteem and thus we feel that if we purchase the products by L’oreal we are in some way worthier than if purchased another brand. Take for instance the latest advert for the new L’oreal eye roller. The advert says one is sold every eight seconds and asks do you have yours yet. This has the intention of making the viewer feel like they are missing out on something. Very clever marketing that works.

Become aware of how advertising affects you and more importantly your feelings of self worth. There has been an increase in the number of psychologists now working in the field of consumer psychology to describe, predict and influence our buying decisions. As we are being bombarded with more and more choices, advertisers are finding new ways to play on our emotions and encourage that all important purchase.

At the same time as a rise in psychologists working in consumer psychologists, psychologists have seen a dramatic increase in the last ten years of clients who are addicted to shopping and cosmetic surgery. Clients are using these quick fixes to make themselves feel better, only to find that it is never enough. They need to make changes within in order to feel worthy without the latest bag or beauty fad.

If you know that you are influenced by celebrities to purchase the latest slimming aid or designer pair of shoes, gently probe a little more detail to discover why you feel this way. Are there parts of you that does not feel worthy or content with who you are? Why not ditch the beauty magazines with airbrushed celebrities and mute the adverts on TV and read something uplifting and inspirational instead. Remember you are a magnificent unique individual and you are worth it!

The Hidden Reasons We Use Our Mobiles

2009-08-18T20:36:00.002+10:00

Who’s really in Control? - Using and Abusing Technology

The hidden reasons we use our mobiles

Having just returned from a week’s stay at a health retreat where mobile phones were banned and computers were confined to your rooms, I became profoundly aware of the influence technology plays in one’s everyday life. I decided to leave my mobile at home, as I knew I would have difficulty resisting the temptation to use it.

Initially I found myself feeling the urge to send a text or check my phone, but this urge soon passed and what eventuated was a wonderful experience where I met interesting new people and enjoyed the art of conversation, without being interrupted by a mobile. This enabled the guests to be fully focused and present and the conversations were often candid and in-depth. I noticed that people were more open than maybe they would have been had they had their mobiles with them.

The time whizzed by and upon my return from a blissful week free of mobile phones, I was greeted by a neighbour who I have not seen for some time. We were deep in conversation when her mobile sounded. She immediately rummaged through her bag, retrieved the phone, answered it and gently bid me goodbye. This brought it home to me how as a society we are often ruled by our mobiles and more importantly our acceptance of the intrusion which they cause. We would never dream of bidding someone abruptly goodbye because we saw someone else we knew, but somehow we accept it without question when the phone rings.

I invite you to think about how you use your mobile phone on a daily basis. Also think about the time you spend idling texting or gossiping, when perhaps it could be better spent doing something else. Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for staying connected and strongly believe as a coach that social support is a fundamental aspect of our wellbeing, but just be aware of why you are using your mobile. Reflect on when you are most likely to use or overuse your mobile; is it when you are bored, stressed, frustrated, avoiding something or feeling low?

Next time you reach for your mobile, probe a little more deeply about your reasons for texting, talking to someone or playing a game. You may be surprised by the answers. If you find you use your mobile for far more than just communicating and it is maybe an avoidance mechanism, gently think of other things that may help you feel better about yourself. Do you phone others to bolster you when you feel a little down or want answers about yourself to comfort you? Calling people for reassurance occasionally is fine, but doing it on a all the time is most likely a sign that you need to trust yourself more.

Tips to De-Stress

2009-08-17T16:42:00.003+10:00

Here are my top ten tips for de-stress. The first five are related to physical wellbeing and the five underneath are related to psychological wellbeing. Will do an entry on each one in the coming weeks. Hope you like the illustrations!

2009-08-11T11:16:00.000+10:00

Who is the Real YOU?

2009-07-31T10:55:00.004+10:00

How do you view your real self? Is it in a way that you would not share with others openly or frankly or are there certain parts of you that you would not openly verbalise to anyone? In order to have the life you want you must get honest about the person you are and celebrate being you.

Get clear about what you really want, not what you think you should want or what others want, but what things come back to you again and again and will not be silenced unless you act on them. We all have a sense of what we would like our ideal lives to look like, but all to often this is where it stops and the excuses begin. Take a baby step today to living your ideal life and you will be surprised by how much better you feel just by doing something, rather than talking or thinking about it.

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.” Margaret Young

People, things and situations gradually unfold to guide us further along our path once we commit to honouring what we truly want and who we truly are. The well known humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers spoke about our real and ideal selves and said the greater the gap between the two the more suffering we will experience. Therefore it is imperative to be honest with yourself about your limitations and most importantly your potential. If you make disparging remarks about yourself, stop it. Whether it is in the form of self talk or how you describe yourself to others it is very damaging and works by reinforcing those feelings about yourself (that are often untrue). Start today by honouring who you are and start to try and embrace the parts of you which you have trouble liking. Go on, you are worth it.

Courses Lisa is teaching at MWCC

2009-07-30T15:45:00.005+10:00

Lisa is teaching three upcoming courses at MWCC and here is a brief outline of the courses on offer:

Be You Own Life Coach - An exciting course which looks at the four essential elements of living a successful life including thought patterns, how we cope, meaning and purpose, health and re-creation. Various psychological techniques will be utilised including cognitive behavioural therapy, mindfulness, coaching, visualisations and meditation.

Why Weight - This course focuses on the psychology of weight loss, as well as practical strategies regarding nutrition and exercise. It is a structured 6 week program which will help you achieve lasting weight loss in a nurturing environment. Optional weigh in’s are done at the commencement and conclusion of the course. In this program the fundamental principles of weight loss will be considered from a psychological perspective How our emotions and thought processes can positively aid us to lose weight and maintain a healthy balanced lifestyle. How to stop self sabotage in its tracks! Various psychological techniques will be utilised including cognitive behavioural therapy, visualisation and meditation.

You Yummy Mummy - A course which takes time out to honour the massive changes involved in becoming a mum and helps you get in touch with your true essence. Includes the use of various psychological techinques including journaling, meditation and challenging negative thought patterns. This workshop will assist you in celebrating being a woman and ensure that you feel like a yummy mummy.

Go to the Manly Warringah Community College website for more information and to sign up:
http://www.mwcc.nsw.edu.au/docs/index.php

Successful People Never Confuse Activity with Progress

2009-07-23T08:58:00.010+10:00

Often we rush through our day doing lots of different things, but what exactly do we achieve? We are so busy going through the motions as they say, that we allow very little time to effectively plan our day, instead we just keeping doing the same set things and strangely we often expect different results. Regardless of whether you are at work, home, or in social settings, how much time do you actively think about the activity that you are doing? How do you measure if that activity has been a success? To often our mind is on to the next thing before we have even completed the task we are working on.

There has been much talk regarding the virtues of multi-tasking, however if we are not fully attentative to the task at hand we do not produce our best work. Recent research from Harvard University suggests that when people multi-task the standard of their work suffers. Indeed the research concluded that focusing on one task at a time can actually save us time.

Thinking about multi-tasking reminds me of when I was a student I worked in a call centre for a large mobile phone company. I can vividly recall a customer calling me with an enquiry and in the background there was alot of noise. She told me that she was in a queue at her local bank. She also had young children with her and sounded very harassed. I had to ask her a series of questions and she was very curt in her responses. She then told me that she ws trying to do to many things at once, without thinking I replied 'well don't'. On reflection this was a pretty rude thing to say, but to my surprise and relief she actually agreed. She then decided to take a seat in the bank and we finished our call. Now as a busy mum I can relate to this lady's plight, but it also makes me aware of the things that I need to get done in a single day and I plan accorindingly, often around my son's nap time!

Successful people effectively plan their day and don't waste time on tasks that give them little gain. They set goals and then put steps in place to achieve them. They monitor their progress regularly and adjust course when needed. How often do you do this? If you do then good on you, you are no doubt reaping the benefits of your diligience.

However, if you don't it's never to late to start. Try to fully commit to being present in the moment and plan how you will measure your progress in different areas of your life. Then watch how much more you accomplish. List things that need to be completed and then plan the best times to achieve them. Be mindful of your progress and stay on track.

Successful people review their progress regulalary and adjust course if needed.

It's Good to say NO!

2009-07-21T12:36:00.007+10:00

If you are not particularly assertive you may have real trouble verbalising the little word 'no'. The word carries lots of unpleasant associations and can be emotionally loaded. That's why so many of us nice, friendly, people pleaser types struggle with this word, even when we know it needs to be said. In my experience the top ten reasons we may be afraid to say no include:

1. Bring rejected
2. Disappointing others
3. Being judged
4. An awkwardness that may arise
5. Scared of embarrassment
6. Triggering an uncomfortable exchange
7. Fearful
8. Not feel entitled to saying no
9. Feel unworthy
10. Feel selfish

I have experienced all of these feelings at one time or another and as a consequence not stood my ground when people have taken advantage. When you do not have the courage to say no, what you are really saying is the other person is more important and valuable than you. This simply is not so. You deserve to be heard and valued as much as anyone else. It may also be a way of feeling sorry for yourself and allowing you to avoid dealing with personal problems. In counselling psychology boundaries are spoken of often and what has been found is that many people with low self esteem do not set up healthy boundaries with those around them. They allow others to continually take from them, even though they have a niggling feeling that it is not right. Put simply a boundary is a system of limit setting that protects you from being a victim.

If this resonates with you and you know you need to learn to say no, then start today. Increase your awareness of things that you say yes to, when you really mean no. For example, you may be invited to something and on impulse you say yes, but afterwards you realise you don't want to go and you then spend unnecessary time thinking about how you will get out of atending. Successful people do not do this, so why should you. Next time you are invited to something, take your time to think it over rather than just saying yes because you don't want to disappoint the other person.

Once you starting saying no people around you begin to respect you far more than they did previously. As the saying goes if you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to. You may also want to pinpoint where your people pleasing behaviour originated. It can be from messages we picked up from our parents, teachers etc or our place of work. However, regardless of where it stems from, it can be changed in a relatively short space of time once you are mindful of it.

Make a Commitment

2009-07-21T12:08:00.001+10:00

Just a quick entry today to share a very powerful quote related to commitment. If you are struggling with commiting to change then read on:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it.
Begin it now."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749-1832

Begin your journey now, even if it is just by making a small change you will be surprised at how much better you feel. If you want your own business, you could get some business cards made up or if you need to confront someone then do it now. Regardless of what the steps are, just taking one will start you on the right path. Believe me I know all about hesitancy and self doubt, but once you commit to change wonderful things begin to happen. It can take a long time to see progress, but know that it is taking place and once you make your intentions clear then you can't help, but be guided to the next step. Begin to believe and recognise the magnificent person you are and other people will see it too.

"Thank God It's Monday"

2009-07-17T11:44:00.005+10:00

How often have you heard 'Thank God it's Monday' uttered from yours or someone else's lips? I am guessing not to often. However, for those few individuals who are living and following their true purpose they regularly feel that way. The old confucius saying goes something like:

'Do what you love and you will never have to work another day in your life'.

Wise words and the following quote by Bob Dylan sums it up nicely:

"A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do."

If you are living your true purpose then congratulations, but if you are not and find yourself groaning with that Sunday night feeling loaded with dread of the working week to come then it is time to make some changes. Ask yourself the following questions:

1) If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do?
2) What could prevent you from achieving this?
3) What resources do you already have that could help you?
4) Who could assist you?
5) What’s your main concern?
6) How could you overcome this?
7) What would your ideal life include?
8) Who do you know that has already done what you would like to do?
9) What did they do?
10) What could you do in the next week that would take you closer to achieving what you want?

I wish you every success in cultivating that 'Thank God it's Monday' feeling.

No Time? How Much TV Do You Watch?

2009-07-16T09:44:00.010+10:00

You may recall in the '7 Ways Consume Less, Create More' blog entry I discussed turning off the television to get your creativity flowing. We often don’t realize how television eats away at our time. For example let's do the maths:

If you watch 4 hours of tv a night (say you watch tv between 6pm & 10pm, which arguably many households do)

Therefore in a week that amounts to 28 hours

Not including the weekends where many people watch more sports etc or in the cold winter months when we tend to stay inside & tune into the box more

On average in a month that is 121 hours of tv

Therefore in a year that amounts to 1,452 hours

Which equates to a staggering 60 days

In other words you spend two months of each year watching tv..

Sounds hard to believe, but if you check the figures they are correct. When I discussed this with my partner he found it hard to swallow as he is often attached to the remote control.. Now don't get me wrong there are certain programs that I thoroughly enjoy and I am not suggesting that you ditch the telly completely, but I am hoping that by reading this it makes you aware of what you could achieve if you watched tv less.

Personally I have many plans in the coming year, most importantly to give birth to a healthy baby a the end of October, to work more on my business and establish my writing & speaking career. With a busy toddler in tow it is often tempting when he has finally fallen asleep to retreat to the lounge and mindlessly watch tv for a couple of hours. However, I often find when I do that I end up irritated and actually have trouble sleeping, unless it is 'Secret Millionaire' of course which I think should be compulsory viewing for all aspiring millionaires. I try to limit the amount of tv that I watch and will only watch programs that I can learn from or that I thoroughly enjoy.

Seriously though, next time you hear yourself saying 'I would like to do that, but I don't have the time', think about unlocking some of that valuable time by limiting the amount of tv you watch. The least you can do is press the mute button whilst the adverts are on so you don't expose yourself to promotions for things that you don't actually need. Use the three minute advert breaks to ponder on the things you would do if you did have the time...

Break Down Your Job to Use Time More Effectively

2009-07-15T07:58:00.006+10:00

Breaking down your job in Organisational Psychology is called Job Analysis which involves a trained psychologist describing the observable behaviour of your job, which determines essential duties, tasks and responsibilities. The analysis establishes job specific activities and helps create a precise job description. We have all experienced jobs and you may be in one now where the job description handed to you at the interview stage resembles very little to your actual day to day activities. Normally we end up doing far more than what was described.

In the absence of a trained psychologist observing you, it is a good idea to break down your own job into different components and look closely at the tasks and activities that you spend the most and the least of your time on. It can be quite an eye opener when you become aware of how much time you may spend surfing the net or on one activity that is actually not that important. We often avoid the tasks that are difficult or we like the least. We all do this and it is part of human nature, but just think how much happier you could be for the rest of the day if you get the boring or difficult stuff out of the way. Breaking down your job also provides a means of discovering areas that you may need further training or help on.

If you are not in paid in employment you can analyse how you spend your time at home. For me personally I will do lots of other tasks like updating my blog! writing, general tidying, even polishing before I will hang out the washing! The more honestly aware we become of how we spend our time we begin to use it more effectively.

There is a great little book called 'Eat That Frog' by the leadership guru Brian Tracy about how to limit procrastination, set priorities and get started straight away. He believes that by tackling the most unpleasant job (eating the frog!) first if frees us up for the rest of the day to be far more productive and complete jobs faster.

Go ahead and analysis your own job, you might surprise yourself with just how much you do! If it is far above your job description, it may also be advisable to discuss this with your HR department.

Happiness is a State of Mind

2009-07-07T10:37:00.000+10:00

We rarely ponder what happiness is and if we and our loved one's are actually happy. Do we know when we are at our happiest? Sometimes we may catch ourselves having a good old belly laugh with great company and look around and think why does this not happen more often. We have been conditioned to rush through our busy schedules packed with deadlines and mundane commitments that all to often we do not want to keep. Why is this? Very little time is spent just being in the moment and enjoying the pure joy of life. We chase things in the hope that they will provide us with the coveted prize of happiness, only to find that when we get to our destination, the goalposts have been moved again.

Personally I have experienced this many times. The most striking of which was when I was completing my Masters in Psychology. I love studying and learning about this amazing brain of ours, but I never truly appreciated the joy of studying at that time, as I was constantly longing to finish it. I would talk about all the things that would happen when I completed the course, only to find that nothing actually happened, apart from graduating. It took a long time after that to fully appreciate and integrate what I had learnt and achieved. Although looking back it taught me a valuable lesson about being happy in the moment and now whenever I enrol in a course I commit to enjoying the process, not just the outcome.

I recognise that happiness is actually a state of mind. It is our take on things, our beliefs about a situation. False beliefs as the quote below powerfully demonstrates are the only real cause of unhappiness. Therefore I urge you to ask yourself what makes you happy. You will be surprised to find the answers and feelings that you have associated with happiness.

"There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them."
Anthony de Mello

If you are interested in reading more about Happiness, Dr Robert Holden has written a fabulous book titled 'Happiness Now' and it is packed with tips and strategies to help you be your happiest!

Have a Happy Day!

Our Deepest Fear

2009-06-27T07:50:00.001+10:00

The poem below was written by Marianne Willamson and is probably in my opinion some of the most inspirational words ever written. I have this poem positioned in pride of place in my study and get chills when I read it. What is your gut feeling deep within when you read it?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

How do these words affect you?

Remember who are you not to be powerful beyond measure?

Go ahead and let your light shine.

Learning from Micheal Jackson

2009-06-26T11:41:00.000+10:00

I woke up to the news of the sudden death of Micheal Jackson. Whenever death strikes it reminds us of our own mortality and the fragility of life. Regardless of your opinions of the allegations that were filed against him, there is no doubt that Micheal was a hugely talented individual that brought much pleasure and entertainment to millions of people's lives. In his 50 years he won 13 Grammy awards, travelled the world and sold over 75 million records. Thriller alone, which is the top-selling album of all time, had sales exceeding 41 million.

Micheal's phenomenal success as an entertainer shows us what can be achieved by one individual with a vision. He was a gifted singer and was catapulted to stardom as a child, but his continued success was down to his determination and vision to do what he loved, which was songwriting and performing.

If one person can have that kind of success perfecting their craft, what could you do in your life time?

What is your purpose?
What would you like to do so much that you would feel truly blessed if you could do it everyday and get paid for it?
What activities do you do that you don't notice time passing?
What burning desire has come back to you again and again over the years?
If you knew what you should be doing, what would it be?
If you were not concerned with the judgements of others what would you do?

Answer the questions above honestly and you will be closer to uncovering your true purpose. We all have a sense of what we would really like to do, now starting taking tentative steps to get you closer to living your purpose. It might be buying an inspirational book, talking to someone that has done what you would like to do, writing down your goals or attending an evening course. The step itself is not important, what is is making a commitment to honour yourself and pursue your purpose.

As you read the questions you will undoubtably have resistances and negative self talk that pops up. Acknowedge these resistances, but continue to ponder the questions. When you are living a life that you choose, you are happier and in turn this allows people around you to begin to acknowledge their own purpose.

Go ahead and live a life of possibilities.

Depression & You

2009-06-25T14:01:00.000+10:00

We often say that we are down or depressed, but how many of us actually know the clinical symptoms of depression? The most common psychological disorder reported by GP's is depression. In order to be diagnosed with depression an individual must report most of the following symptoms over a two week period:

· feeling sad most of the time
· lost interest in most of your usual activities
· lost or gained weight
· felt excessively guilty
· sleep disturbance
· felt worthless
· had poor concentration
· were very indecisive

Looking at the list above, I think many people may have experienced these symptoms at one time or another. There is no one single cause of depression and consequently there is no one quick fix either. What is important to remember is that the individual suffering from depression is not doing it for attention, or trying to be difficult, they are genuinely struggling with their emotions and no doubt finding it increasingly difficult to do their job effectively.

It has been reported that of those that see a life coach, a fifth of clients have symptoms that could classify them as having clinical depression. This suggests that people may view seeing a coach as more acceptable than going to see a psychologist or counsellor. With the dramatic increase in the acceptance and use of coaches in the corporate arena, it is imperative that if a client appears to have depression they are referred to a psychologist who can assist them more fully. That said coaching alone may go along way in helping to restore a persons self esteem and give them more clarity in the workplace and beyond.

There are many strategies for helping an individual alleviate the symptoms of depression including, healthy diet, relaxation techniques, meditation, exercise, medication and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). CBT helps individuals become aware of negative thought patterns and destructive actions which often follow. In a recent American study moderate, regular exercise was found to be as effective as anti-depressants for patients suffering from mild depression. Therefore with many workplaces now offering gymnasiums on site or subsidised membership to gymnasiums this is great news for those of us that may be experiencing depression or are feeling a little blue. Individuals often try to self-medicate through food, alcohol, caffeine, sugar or drugs. These vices may indeed provide a quick fix, but they do not get to the root of the illness and will often aggravate it further.

If you or someone you know may be suffering from depression, early intervention ensures that you will get the help and support you need. Be honest about how you are feeling, as keeping things to yourself or pretending everything is fine will only aggravate the illness further. It is estimated that 60% of the population at some point in their lives will suffer from depression, therefore instead of denying how you are feeling, rest assured that many people have experienced depression, including well known celebrities like Jim Carey, Larry King & Britney Spears. It is not a life long illness and with support and taking positive steps depression can be managed successfully.

The following link is fort a quick depression self test.. The site also offers a wealth of information, factsheets and support.

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/depression/howtotell/selftesting.cfm

Seven Ways to Create More and Consume Less

2009-06-25T13:42:00.000+10:00

Being more creative in our everyday lives is easier then you think. Consuming less can help free us from the pressures that we often surround ourselves with. Here are seven practical ways to help you create more of what you want in your life, whilst consuming less.

1. Pay More, Eat Less
Where possible try to eat organic food, which tends to be more expensive, but on the whole is likely to have fewer toxins and often tastes superior. The quantity and quality of the food we consume has a huge impact on how well our minds and bodies can perform. With obesity levels and type II diabetes on the rise, it is more important than ever to limit the amount of processed food we consume.

2. Resist the Temptation to go to the Mall
Think about the last time you went to the mall. How did you feel while you were there and afterwards, energized, bored, frustrated? Did you need or even really want the things that you bought? We may wonder around aimlessly, but we are still actively processing on a subconscious level the bombardment of promotions that are around every corner. Next time you feel the urge to go to mall, be honest about what may be really going on. Once you begin to recognize the triggers of your consumption, you can begin to diminish its hold on you.

3. Don’t Buy Glossy Magazines
Be selective about what you read. As the song ‘Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen’ by Baz Luhrmann goes “Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly”. Reading magazines exposes us to a whole host of advertising that permeates through us and often influences the purchases we make. Low self esteem in adolescents has also been linked to reading glossy magazines. So ditch the magazines and read some inspirational, uplifting stories or biographies instead.

4. Turn Off The Television
We often don’t realize how television eats away at our time. For a week, try and keep a log of how often you watch television and how it makes you feel. At the end of the week reflect on how many hours you watch television and think about what you could achieve if you watched it less. Try to restrict the amount of television you watch and instead play a board game or just talk without any distractions.

5. Volunteer
Get involved in something that you feel passionate about, be it on a local, national or international level. Volunteering gives you the opportunity to meet like-minded people and appreciate the many gifts you have to offer. It is also a great way to explore a new career and gain new skills.

6. Exercise
Choose an exercise or team sport which you genuinely enjoy and you will be more likely to keep it up. If you would like to get fit, start with small achievable goals, such as being able to walk up the stairs without becoming breathless and then aim for bigger more challenging ones such as competing in a race. Besides the myriad of health benefits that regular exercise bestows upon us, it has also been found that after prolonged aerobic exercise creative thinking also improves

7. Love Your Job
If you love what you do for a living, you are likely to find your job rewarding, enjoyable and intellectually stimulating. However, if you are unhappy in your work, it is probable that you consume more in order to bury your discontentment. What facets of your job do you really enjoy? Are there ways that you could do more of what you like on a more regular basis? Often the things we like doing are also the things that we are naturally good at, so get creative and think about what you love about your work.

Stop hanging out with Energy Zappers

2009-06-24T12:01:00.001+10:00

I have often allowed others to take from me on an energetic level, this is when I have spent time with people that I have allowed make me feel bad or sad. Why do we do that? Surely we know that our time is precious and valuable! Not always, sometimes we spend time with people that are not good for us because of our own low self esteem and feelings of worthlessness. Energy zappers are often quick to reinforce these feelings of worthlessness, as they also feel the same way. Energy zappers are highly insecure and given the chance will disregard or belittle your positivity, often in covert ways. It might be a subtle sidewards glance, a sigh or indeed ignoring your ideas or opinions. We can sometimes feel that we deserve no better, little wonder if these are the types of people we are around. The most successful people in the world know that you have to stop hanging around these people, or if this is not possible limit the time you spend with them. It is pretty easy to spot an energy zapper, next time you are with a person or group of people just check in with how you feel. Are you feeling; depressed, anxious, bored and despondent? Or are you feeling invigorated, excited, energetic and happy? If so, you are likely to be in the fine company of an energy giver. Who would you rather hang out with?

The same is true when you think about yourself, do you uplift and encourage those around you, if not, why not? You need to pinpoint what is keeping you stuck and overcome this. Only then can you truly shine and let others shine. If you know you are guilty of being an energy zapper, you don't have to stay that way. Make a choice to change:

"What you have been, is not who you can be." Anon

Respect each and every person, energy giver or zapper, but remember your time is very precious, spend it wisely. You are an amazing person, but maybe you just don't quite realise it yet.

Ever made changes to impress others??

2009-06-19T12:22:00.000+10:00

Be very clear about your motivation behind making positive changes. Is it to impress others? because if so it is much harder to keep up the pretence as it is not coming from your authentic self.

As Wayne Dyer said "I would rather be loathed for who I am than loved for who I am not." What a powerful statement and so true.

I once dated a guy that was so not me, but I was crazy about him. He had a great job, fast car, fab townhouse in the city and the arrogance to match. I tried to mould myself into being something I wasn't. From pretending that it was okay if he only called once a week, (it wasn't) to not responding promptly to my texts, (painful) to hanging out with his friends, (deadly boring) to wearing ridiculously high heels, (ouch) to hearing him speak down to others (I hate that) to preening myself so much before a date that I hardly recognised myself (sad really). Well I am pleased to say after a few short months I came to my senses, but at the time I so desperately wanted him to fall for me that I was willing to compromise who I was in order to impress him. What I now realise is that he was never going to be right for me. This painful process taught me alot about myself and in a way I am glad I went through it as it has shown me that when you are not being true to yourself you end pleasing nobody.

Who are you trying to please at the moment? A boss, colleague, friend, partner, sibling, people you hardly know? Become clear about who you are and honour the magnificence within you. Gauge how you feel when you are trying to impress others, be authentic and people will warm much more to the real you. I promise.

Welcome to Be Informed, Be Inspired

2009-06-19T11:32:00.000+10:00

Greetings all,

Welcome to my blog. Here I will share daily inspiration with you about Psychology, Coaching, Wellness, and more. I think when we are informed and inspired by what we read we are more likely to take positive action eventually..

In a recent study discussed in Virus of the Mind, by Richard Brodie it was found that when participants attended a self development course/seminar the feedback they gave immediately afterwards was really positive and they were sure they were going to implement what they had learnt. However, six months later in a follow-up study of the participants who said they were going to make postive changes only 3% had!

Sound familiar? We all to often have genunine intentions, but things just happen and we go back to our old ways not because we want to, but because we have been doing the same thing for so long that it is hard to break the cycle. Being an avid learner myself I have attended my fair share of self development programs and must hold my hand up to leaving an event and being pumped to experience my fab, sparkly new life that eagerly awaits me, only to find a week later that I have all but forgotten what I had learnt. The hastily scribed notes that I guarded like the whole grail during the course lay dormant, never to be opened again..

As a Psychology teacher, coach and speaker I am acutely aware of how important it is to gently encourage others to make beneficial changes in their lives and I also know how hard it can be! We hold onto old patterns of behaviour not because they work, but often because we are scared of the alternative. Change is scary, but the more we honour our true nature the easier positive change becomes.

Are there things that are not working in your life and you know are worthy of your attention? I have found personally and from clients that when we take just one habit and conquer it, it often gives us the push and confidence to take on bigger, more damaging habits. Go easy on yourself, write down your goals, be accountable, seek support, review and refine your goals and if necessary restart them.

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.” - Mark Twain