9 Habits that Age Us

Many of the habits we adopt have an impact on how fast we age and compromise our health, they include:

1. Stress
2. Smoking
3. Poor Sleep
4. Alcohol
5. Poor Diet
6. Sun Exposure
7. Not exercising
8. Resentment
9. Lack of Joy

All of the above effect not only how quickly our body can age, but also effect our skin. Many of the external decisions you make everyday have a huge effect on how you feel and look. Number 8 is worth a mention, as it has been shown that resentment can eat away at people and lead to a higher incidence of heart disease. So stop resenting others and track what you do want, not what others have or do.

"The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years."

Deepak Chopra

 Wishing you an ageless and fun filled day. 

Top 10 Unhelpful Thinking Styles

 When a client experiences an unhelpful emotion (eg, depression or anxiety), it is usually accompanied by unhelpful self-statements and thoughts. Often there is a pattern to such thoughts and they are called "unhelpful thinking styles". We often use unhelpful thinking styles as an automatic habit. It is something that happens without us payibg attention to it. However, when a person consistently and constantly uses some of these styles of thinking, they can often cause themselves a great deal of emotional distress. As you read through the following “unhelpful thinking styles”, you might notice some thinking patterns and styles that you use consistently. Some of these styles might sound similar to one another. They are not meant to be distinct categories, but to help you see if there is a kind of pattern to your thoughts.

Top 10 Unhelpful Thinking Styles:

Jumping to Conclusions:
We jump to conclusions when we assume that we know what someone else is thinking  (mind reading) and when we make predictions about what is going to happen in the future (predictive thinking).

Personalisation:
This involves blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong or could go wrong, even when you may only be partly responsible or not responsible at all. You might be taking 100% responsibility for the occurrence of external events.

Catastrophising:
Catastrophising occurs when we “blow things out of proportion“., and we view the situation as terrible, awful, dreadful, and horrible, even though the reality is that the problem itself is quite small.

Black & White Thinking:
This thinking style involves seeing only one extreme or the other. You are either wrong or right, good or bad and so on. There are no inbetweens or shades of gray

Mental Filter:
This thinking styles involves a "filtering in" and "filtering out" process – a sort of "tunnel vision," focusing on only one part of a situation and ignoring the rest. Usually this means looking at the negative parts of a situation and forgetting the positive parts, and the whole picture is coloured by what may be a single negative detail.

Shoulding and Musting:
Sometimes by saying “I should…” or “I must…” you can put unreasonable demands or pressure on yourself and others. Although these statements are not always unhelpful (eg “I should not get drunk and drive home”), they can sometimes create unrealistic expectations.

Overgeneralisation:
When we overgeneralise, we take one instance in the past or present, and impose it on all current or future situations. If we say “You always…” or “Everyone…”, or “I never…” then we are probably overgeneralising.

Labelling:
We label ourselves and others when we make global statements based on behaviour in specific situations. We might use this label even though there are many more examples that aren’t consistent with that label.

Emotional Reasoning:
This thinking style involves basing your view of situations or yourself on the way you are feeling. For example, the only evidence that something bad is going to happen is that you feel like something bad is going to happen.

Magnification and Minimisation:
In this thinking style, you magnify the positive attributes of other people and minimise your own positive attributes. It’s as though you’re explaining away your own positive characteristics.

Becoming aware of the patterns you use can help you minimise the power they have over you.

I'll be happy when.....

1. Happiness is your nature. It is not the fruit of something you do; it is the essence of who you are.

2. Discovering your innate happiness and well-being is the key to creating what you really want in the world around you.

 

 

Here is a great extract from Supercoach Micheal Neil's book: 'You Can Have What You Want' about being happy NOW:

 

Most people’s goals in life are made up of the things they believe will ‘make’ them happy. But as one of my business partners once said to me, ‘If the bottom line is so important, why is at the bottom?’

 

 In other words, if what we really want is happiness, why don’t we start there?

Having now asked this question of thousands of people, the answers generally come down to one of what I consider to be the greatest myth in Western civilization…

 
I’ll be happy when I get what I want.

 

This idea has been with us for thousands of years and is endemic throughout all mythology, ancient and modern – that when you battle with a dragon and win, you get the princess and you live happily ever after. Or if you are the princess, you just need to be patient long enough and someday your prince will come and then you’ll live happily ever after.

 

 In fact, people are often willing to endure great hardship on the way to success because they just know there’s a pot of gold at the end of their rainbow – and they plan on using that pot of gold to buy the feelings of happiness and fulfillment that they really want.

 

 To give yourself a sense of how this myth might be active in your own life, think about three or four ways you could finish this sentence:

I’ll be happy when...

I’ll be happy when I’ve got enough money.

I’ll be happy when I’m in a loving relationship.

I’ll be happy when I get a better job.

I’ll be happy when my boss/co-worker/friend stops being such a jerk.

 

Whatever you’re putting between you and being happy in this very moment is a by-product of the myth of happiness: the idea that when you finally sort out your outer life, your inner life will take care of itself.

 

But the truth beyond the myth is simple yet profound:

 

If you’re doing things in order to be happy,

you’re doing them in the wrong order!

 

When you make happiness your number one priority and allow yourself to follow your ‘happy wanting’, success is not only more likely, attaining it is much more fun.

 

As Albert Schweitzer said:

 

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."

 

 

 

Meditation Increases Your Attention Span

In research inspired by Buddhist monks, a new study has found that meditation can seemingly help increase a person's attention span.

The study included 60 people who had previously attended meditation retreats and were familiar with the practice. The researchers assigned half of the participants to study Buddhist meditation for three months at a retreat in Colorado, while the other half waited their turn and acted as a control group.

At three points during the retreat, participants took a computer test designed to measure their ability to make fine visual distinctions and sustain visual attention. As the meditation retreat progressed, the participants showed improvements in their ability to sustain visual attention. This improvement continued for five months after the retreat had ended, especially among those who continued to meditate every day, the study authors found.

"People may think meditation is something that makes you feel good, and going on a meditation retreat is like going on vacation, and you get to be at peace with yourself. That's what people think until they try it. Then you realize how challenging it is to just sit and observe something without being distracted," study author Katherine MacLean said in an Association for Psychological Science news release.

MacLean conducted the study while a graduate student at the University of California, Davis.
The study findings were published in the June issue of the journal Psychological Science.
More information: The U.S. National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine has http://nccam.nih.gov/health/meditation/overview.htm. © 2010 HealthDay

I love this quote, "A free and silent mind is always meditating". Unknown

I know how difficult it can be to find the time and motivation to meditate, but give it a go in the coming days. Just set aside five minutes to sit with yourself and just be.

Would you speak to others the way you speak to yourself?

"Thinking: the talking of the soul within itself." Plato

What do you tell yourself everyday? Is it:

1. kind?
2. true? 
3. helpful?

If it is none of these then become more mindful of the way that you talk to yourself. There is little point in being an enemy with yourself Your mind begins to believe what you tell it, so shower it with love and praise. What resides in you is unique and has great untapped potential.

In my experience working with clients, negative self talk is the number one thing that holds them back. They berate themselves about things that they should or should not have done. Often we paralyse ourselves before we have got off the starting blocks. If you are consumed with self doubt and criticism begin to become aware of the tapes you play over and over in your mind and use the three questions above to determine whether they are useful or not. If they no longer serves you then replace them with positive statements. This takes time, but as they say practice makes perfect.

Unleash The Mighty Toddler Within

We are born with an ability to get all of our needs met, be it a clean nappy, milk, cuddles, comfort, attention etc. As newborns when we became aware of our empty tummy we would wail excessively, prompting our caregiver into action. This is because our survival depended on it. Then as we became toddlers we have a supreme sense of self worth which allows us to engage with the world expecting to get our needs fulfilled. At this age we more often than not get exactly what we desire. To see this in action, watch a toddler decide that they want a certain toy. Very little will prevent them from getting it!

We can learn a lot from the behaviour of children and how we can incorporate some of their determination and focus into our own lives.

You know the drill, you decide that you are sick and tired of the way things have been and make a pact with yourself to make some changes. You may even write your goals down and have great intentions of achieving them. You can feel that you are on the brink of living a truly awesome life and can taste the sweet smell of success and then what happens? You hit a roadblock and instead of seeing this for what it is, a minor setback which needs a solution, it stops you in your tracks and you retreat into the comfort and often boredom of your everyday life, less determined to step outside of your comfort zone again!

Life was not intended to be lived this way. People who lead amazing lives take risks and are willing to stretch themselves regularly in many aspects of their lives. They are also less likely to be swayed by other people’s opinions, much like the mighty toddler. Many of us feel inspired to live our lives in a certain one or do something which we really enjoy, but stop short of actually doing it for fear of rejection or what others may think or say about us. As the adage goes ‘most people are too busy thinking about themselves to worry about what you’re thinking’. So if you know you are guilty of this, remember it is never too late to become who you might have been.

Unleash the mighty toddler within you and get what you want.

A Quick Read About Feeling & Being Happier

10 Steps Toward Feeling Happier


An interesting article by psychotherapist Linda Laffey

1. Make the decision to be happy

Life will continue to challenge all of us with its bumps in the road some big, some small. It is your attitude and how you choose to negotiate those bumps that determine how you feel. Adopting an attitude of appreciation for everything you have, and recognizing that you always have a choice about how to respond to external circumstances can contribute significantly to feeling happier.

2. Cultivate a sense of connection

Examine the relationships in your life? at home, at work, and socially. Do you feel connected to the people in your life in a healthy and satisfying way? Do you feel connected to yourself? Through reading, taking a class, meditation, spiritual exploration, therapy, and communicating with others, you can deepen your sense of connection and well-being.


3. Focus on forgiveness of yourself and others
This can be very challenging at times; especially when you feel someone has done something that seems unforgivable. The forgiveness, however, is for you, not for them. It frees your mental and emotional energy to blissfully go forward in your life. There is a saying: 'Holding onto resentment is like letting someone else live rent-free in your head.'

4. Set short-term and long-term goals for making your dreams a reality

Goal-setting gives you something to look forward to, something to work toward, and creates structure in your day-to-day life. As each step along the way is completed, you experience a sense of pride and accomplishment.


5. Find fulfilling work
Having an occupation that you enjoy and has meaning for you gives you a sense of purpose and can be deeply satisfying. If the work you are currently involved in falls short of this criteria, you may want to look at the possibilities for making a change at some point. If changing jobs is not practical, perhaps you could find a volunteer position or hobby that would meet the same criteria.


6. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually
The health of your body enormously impacts happiness. Proper nutrition, regular sleep, and daily exercise that you find enjoyable are essential. Stress reduction through conscious schedule planning, breathing exercises, and meditation can make a tremendous difference. If you already have a spiritual practice or affiliation, seek to deepen it. If you don?t have one, you may want to explore those that interest you to find one that fits for you. Remembering your spirit, feeding, nurturing, and satisfying your soul can greatly increase your feeling of happiness.

7. Be honest with yourself and others
Congruence is the agreement between who you are, what you think and say you want, and your actions. As you become more connected with yourself, your goals, and your self-care improves, chances are you will find it increasingly easier to be genuine and authentic with others. When you really know who you are, what you want, and you are being true to yourself with actions that match, your happiness quotient will go up dramatically.


8. Be open to learning, growing and creating.

Continually expanding your mind through learning can increase your sense of self-confidence. Minds are kept young and sharp by continual use, and mentally active people live longer. Learning is as important to your brain as exercise is to your body. The more you learn, the more aspects of life you can be aware of, appreciate, and enjoy.

9. Manage your money wisely

If you are not already doing so, you can improve your money management by disciplining yourself to save money, keeping expenses low, evaluating your budget regularly, and using extra caution to consider expenses involved prior to starting a family, buying a home or making other large purchases. The old saying, ‘Money can’t buy happiness’ is not entirely true. We need money to pay for food, housing, transportation, and all other necessities for survival and comfort. Financial security is defined as the point at which a person has enough savings or regular income to support a comfortable lifestyle. ‘Comfortable’ means different things to different people. There are two ways to experience being rich: To have great wealth or to be content with what you already have. Once the basics of survival and reasonable comfort have been satisfied, your attitude regarding money becomes much more important than the size of your financial portfolio. Those who know how to use money well in the promotion of happiness are way ahead of those who think they need more.


10. Step out of your comfort zone in the pursuit of pleasure
Most of us tend to become creatures of habit. We eat the foods we like over and over, watch the same television shows week after week, frequent the same restaurants and theatres, and even choose the same vacation spots each year. What we once loved becomes comfortable, familiar, and eventually boring. If you feel stuck in a rut, make a conscious effort to add variety to your life. Try a new restaurant, plan a new and adventurous vacation, visit a museum you’ve never been to, or sign up for that dance class you’ve been thinking about taking. The possibilities are endless, and so are the rewards.