Defriending Negatron's

I have taken the radical steps of defriending a couple of 'friends' that were not really 'friends' in the first place. I decided to boycott Facebook for a few weeks. What I realised was that it's not about the person or the comments, but rather my sensitivity to toward's what they said. I work with clients to develop stronger inner confidence and not to be swayed by other people's reactions and here I was defensively reading far too much into a couple of comments.

One commented on my latest blogpost about achieving all you can in 2012 and felt that if I was achieving I wouldn't be writing about it and another of her 'friends' alluded to the fact that people that wrote about making changes in the new year would still be talking about making them next year. To these people I say thank you. After a bit of hurt and dismay I can see the wisdom in their words and it has provided me with a valuable lesson in dealing with criticism. With my first book nearing completion I have realised that my book does not have to be loved by everyone and nor do I. What matters is that the people that are drawn to read it do and the people that are'nt please don't. Also that people that are brave enough to follow their own path will receive both praise and criticism, but what matters is your opinion of yourself.

Therefore I urge you to follow your own path and know that you can't change people's reactions to you, but you can change your reactions to them.

If you have a burning desire to do something why not go ahead and actually do it.

Ever made changes to impress others??

Be very clear about your motivation behind making positive changes. Is it to impress others? because if so it is much harder to keep up the pretence as it is not coming from your authentic self.

As Wayne Dyer said "I would rather be loathed for who I am than loved for who I am not." What a powerful statement and so true.

I once dated a guy that was so not me, but I was crazy about him. He had a great job, fast car, fab townhouse in the city and the arrogance to match. I tried to mould myself into being something I wasn't. From pretending that it was okay if he only called once a week, (it wasn't) to not responding promptly to my texts, (painful) to hanging out with his friends, (deadly boring) to wearing ridiculously high heels, (ouch) to hearing him speak down to others (I hate that) to preening myself so much before a date that I hardly recognised myself (sad really). Well I am pleased to say after a few short months I came to my senses, but at the time I so desperately wanted him to fall for me that I was willing to compromise who I was in order to impress him. What I now realise is that he was never going to be right for me. This painful process taught me alot about myself and in a way I am glad I went through it as it has shown me that when you are not being true to yourself you end pleasing nobody.

Who are you trying to please at the moment? A boss, colleague, friend, partner, sibling, people you hardly know? Become clear about who you are and honour the magnificence within you. Gauge how you feel when you are trying to impress others, be authentic and people will warm much more to the real you. I promise.