Managing Stress - Brainsmart - BBC

Short animation for managing stress.

Defriending Negatron's

I have taken the radical steps of defriending a couple of 'friends' that were not really 'friends' in the first place. I decided to boycott Facebook for a few weeks. What I realised was that it's not about the person or the comments, but rather my sensitivity to toward's what they said. I work with clients to develop stronger inner confidence and not to be swayed by other people's reactions and here I was defensively reading far too much into a couple of comments.

One commented on my latest blogpost about achieving all you can in 2012 and felt that if I was achieving I wouldn't be writing about it and another of her 'friends' alluded to the fact that people that wrote about making changes in the new year would still be talking about making them next year. To these people I say thank you. After a bit of hurt and dismay I can see the wisdom in their words and it has provided me with a valuable lesson in dealing with criticism. With my first book nearing completion I have realised that my book does not have to be loved by everyone and nor do I. What matters is that the people that are drawn to read it do and the people that are'nt please don't. Also that people that are brave enough to follow their own path will receive both praise and criticism, but what matters is your opinion of yourself.

Therefore I urge you to follow your own path and know that you can't change people's reactions to you, but you can change your reactions to them.

If you have a burning desire to do something why not go ahead and actually do it.

Online Psychological Help

I often get asked for resources and links to mental health resources. Here are a list of some of the best:

Mood Gym - Free online course for depression and anxiey www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/  

Beyond Blue

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Youth Beyond Blue

http://www.youthbeyondblue.com/

Kids Help Line

http://www.kidshelp.com.au/

Relationships Australia

http://www.relationships.com.au/

Lifeline Australia

http://www.lifeline.org.au/

Reach Out for Young People

http://au.reachout.com/

BlackDog Institute

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/

Sane Australia

http://www.sane.org/information

Alcohol

http://www.drinkingnightmare.gov.au

Quitline/QuitNow

http://www.quitnow.info.au/

Family Drug Support

http://www.fds.org.au/

 

Gambling Help

http://www.gamblinghelpservices.com.au 

Eating Disorders Support

www.thebutterflyfoundation.org.au

Grief

http://www.grief.org.au/

Top tips for Making and Achieving Goals in 2012

Want to make changes in the coming year? Your not alone, each year 40% - 45% of adults make one or more resolution or goal for themselves. Some research suggests that 75% make it past the first week, and 46% make it past 6 months. Okay so alot of us break our resolutions, but statistics on New Year's resolutions show that setting goals for yourself is still a good idea because you are 10 times more likely to attain your goal, rather than people who don't explicitly make goals.

8 Top Tips for NY Resolutions:

1. Write down your goals - this helps you get clear about what you want.
2. Be as detailed as possible with the resolution you make, rather than just a vague statement like "I want to lose weight", be specific and say exactly how much by when.
3. Writing your goal as though it has already been achieved is a porwerful way to trick your mind into acting accordingly.
4. Make sure your goals excite you - this may sound obvious, but if you are not motivated and excited by your goals you are very unlikely to achieve them.
5. Put a plan in place once you have written down your resolutions about how you are going to achieve them. Be specific..
6. Commit to mini goals along the way to celebrate your progress.
7. Don't become overwhelmed or use your goals as another way to undermine your self esteem if you don't reach them. Be kind yo yourself and make small changes that are sustainable.
8. Be clear about who you are making your NY Resolutions for and make them for you and not for the approval of others.

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." - Edith Lovejoy Pierce

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY CLIENTS AND FRIENDS

Stay tuned for my 40 Day program which will help you stay on track with those resolutions!

One Minute Stress Test

1. When I feel agitated, do I know how to quickly calm and soothe myself?


2. Can I easily let go of my anger?

3. Can I turn to others at work to help me calm down and feel better?

4. When I come home at night, do I walk in the door feeling alert and relaxed?

5. Am I seldom distracted or moody?

6. Am I able to recognize upsets that others seem to be experiencing?

7. Do I easily turn to friends or family members for a calming influence?

8. When my energy is low, do I know how to boost it?*



If you answered yes to most of these questions then you are managing your stress pretty well, if not you could benefit from attending a stress seminar or seeing a coaching psychologist for tips and strategies.


*Source: The Language of Emotional Intelligence by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

Are You Teaching People to Treat You Badly?

The below post is by Adam Dachis and is thought provoking regarding how we reward bad bahaviour, partcularly at work:

Being the Better Person Will Teach People To Treat You Like Crap

We're taught to turn the other cheek—that being kind in the face of hostility is the better way to respond to conflict so love can overcome hate. According to psychologist Clifford N. Lazarus, writing for Psychology Today, that sort of reaction just teaches abusive people that their behavior is effective. Here's why.

It all comes down to something called the "Law of Effect", which refers to the way people interpret and understand the behavior of others. For example, if someone treats you poorly and you treat them kindly, the effect produced by their bad behavior is your affection. By being nice to mean people, you're essentially creating a reward system for bad behavior.



This doesn't mean you should devolve into a complete asshole anytime you encounter one, but it is important to remember that there is such thing as being too nice. When someone does something that bothers you, it's important to take that immediate opportunity to tell them. Being kind is often just an excuse to avoid necessary conflict. You don't have to be a jerk, but you do have to confront the situation or risk encouraging the bad behavior you're seeking to prevent.


Psychology Today
By Adam Dachis

Question that could change your LIFE

If you Knew You Couldn't Fail..

Power question that really gets you clear about what you truly desire. Answer it honestly and quickly and see what comes out. Make sure you write down your response.

If you knew you couldn't fail what would you do?

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."  - Theodore Roosevelt

GO FOR IT. The world needs you yo live fearlessly!