Learning from your Parents

Are you spending your life not being who you truly want to be. Do you only act in ways that you think people expect you to? Over the years we have been conditioned to conform to ideals, often set by our parents. These ideals are often outdated and may no longer serve you as an adult. Our parents did the best they knew how with what they had at the time and you will do the same. If you find yourself going over things your parents did or said or indeed things that you think they should have done or said, then resist doing this. You are an adult now and need to take responsibility for the way your life is today. I recognise for some people this is hard to hear, but it is imperative you forgive or forget the actions of your parents in order to thrive today.

Another way in which we are also often deeply affected by our parents is in the form of 'carried shame', a term coined by the psychotherapist Pia Mellody. This is when we feel guilt or shame for the actions of our parents. We were not responsible for what our parents did when we were growing up. We may feel that they did not achieve enough, were not good enough, made poor choices or did not do enough for us. Whatever it is we often carry shame that actually does not belong to us. Your parents may very well feel shame and guilt for certain way in which they raised you, but why should you?

Heal the wounds from the past in order to move on to the wonderful future you deserve.