Top tips for Making and Achieving Goals in 2012

Want to make changes in the coming year? Your not alone, each year 40% - 45% of adults make one or more resolution or goal for themselves. Some research suggests that 75% make it past the first week, and 46% make it past 6 months. Okay so alot of us break our resolutions, but statistics on New Year's resolutions show that setting goals for yourself is still a good idea because you are 10 times more likely to attain your goal, rather than people who don't explicitly make goals.

8 Top Tips for NY Resolutions:

1. Write down your goals - this helps you get clear about what you want.
2. Be as detailed as possible with the resolution you make, rather than just a vague statement like "I want to lose weight", be specific and say exactly how much by when.
3. Writing your goal as though it has already been achieved is a porwerful way to trick your mind into acting accordingly.
4. Make sure your goals excite you - this may sound obvious, but if you are not motivated and excited by your goals you are very unlikely to achieve them.
5. Put a plan in place once you have written down your resolutions about how you are going to achieve them. Be specific..
6. Commit to mini goals along the way to celebrate your progress.
7. Don't become overwhelmed or use your goals as another way to undermine your self esteem if you don't reach them. Be kind yo yourself and make small changes that are sustainable.
8. Be clear about who you are making your NY Resolutions for and make them for you and not for the approval of others.

"We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day." - Edith Lovejoy Pierce

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY CLIENTS AND FRIENDS

Stay tuned for my 40 Day program which will help you stay on track with those resolutions!

A Quick Read About Feeling & Being Happier

10 Steps Toward Feeling Happier


An interesting article by psychotherapist Linda Laffey

1. Make the decision to be happy

Life will continue to challenge all of us with its bumps in the road some big, some small. It is your attitude and how you choose to negotiate those bumps that determine how you feel. Adopting an attitude of appreciation for everything you have, and recognizing that you always have a choice about how to respond to external circumstances can contribute significantly to feeling happier.

2. Cultivate a sense of connection

Examine the relationships in your life? at home, at work, and socially. Do you feel connected to the people in your life in a healthy and satisfying way? Do you feel connected to yourself? Through reading, taking a class, meditation, spiritual exploration, therapy, and communicating with others, you can deepen your sense of connection and well-being.


3. Focus on forgiveness of yourself and others
This can be very challenging at times; especially when you feel someone has done something that seems unforgivable. The forgiveness, however, is for you, not for them. It frees your mental and emotional energy to blissfully go forward in your life. There is a saying: 'Holding onto resentment is like letting someone else live rent-free in your head.'

4. Set short-term and long-term goals for making your dreams a reality

Goal-setting gives you something to look forward to, something to work toward, and creates structure in your day-to-day life. As each step along the way is completed, you experience a sense of pride and accomplishment.


5. Find fulfilling work
Having an occupation that you enjoy and has meaning for you gives you a sense of purpose and can be deeply satisfying. If the work you are currently involved in falls short of this criteria, you may want to look at the possibilities for making a change at some point. If changing jobs is not practical, perhaps you could find a volunteer position or hobby that would meet the same criteria.


6. Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually
The health of your body enormously impacts happiness. Proper nutrition, regular sleep, and daily exercise that you find enjoyable are essential. Stress reduction through conscious schedule planning, breathing exercises, and meditation can make a tremendous difference. If you already have a spiritual practice or affiliation, seek to deepen it. If you don?t have one, you may want to explore those that interest you to find one that fits for you. Remembering your spirit, feeding, nurturing, and satisfying your soul can greatly increase your feeling of happiness.

7. Be honest with yourself and others
Congruence is the agreement between who you are, what you think and say you want, and your actions. As you become more connected with yourself, your goals, and your self-care improves, chances are you will find it increasingly easier to be genuine and authentic with others. When you really know who you are, what you want, and you are being true to yourself with actions that match, your happiness quotient will go up dramatically.


8. Be open to learning, growing and creating.

Continually expanding your mind through learning can increase your sense of self-confidence. Minds are kept young and sharp by continual use, and mentally active people live longer. Learning is as important to your brain as exercise is to your body. The more you learn, the more aspects of life you can be aware of, appreciate, and enjoy.

9. Manage your money wisely

If you are not already doing so, you can improve your money management by disciplining yourself to save money, keeping expenses low, evaluating your budget regularly, and using extra caution to consider expenses involved prior to starting a family, buying a home or making other large purchases. The old saying, ‘Money can’t buy happiness’ is not entirely true. We need money to pay for food, housing, transportation, and all other necessities for survival and comfort. Financial security is defined as the point at which a person has enough savings or regular income to support a comfortable lifestyle. ‘Comfortable’ means different things to different people. There are two ways to experience being rich: To have great wealth or to be content with what you already have. Once the basics of survival and reasonable comfort have been satisfied, your attitude regarding money becomes much more important than the size of your financial portfolio. Those who know how to use money well in the promotion of happiness are way ahead of those who think they need more.


10. Step out of your comfort zone in the pursuit of pleasure
Most of us tend to become creatures of habit. We eat the foods we like over and over, watch the same television shows week after week, frequent the same restaurants and theatres, and even choose the same vacation spots each year. What we once loved becomes comfortable, familiar, and eventually boring. If you feel stuck in a rut, make a conscious effort to add variety to your life. Try a new restaurant, plan a new and adventurous vacation, visit a museum you’ve never been to, or sign up for that dance class you’ve been thinking about taking. The possibilities are endless, and so are the rewards.

Why Work & Wellbeing are Related

Most of us equate wellbeing with wealth and health, but that's not the whole story, according to Gallup's comprehensive study of people in more than 150 countries which revealed five universal, interconnected elements that shape our lives .

Extract taken from interview with Rath and Harter, Gallup Management Journal http://gmj.gallup.com/content/127643/Wellbeing-Need-Thrive.aspx

For more than 50 years, Gallup scientists have been exploring the demands of a life well-lived. More recently, in partnership with leading economists, psychologists, and other acclaimed scientists, Gallup has uncovered the common elements of wellbeing that transcend countries and cultures. This research revealed the universal elements of wellbeing that differentiate a thriving life from one spent suffering. They represent five broad categories that are essential to most people:

Career Wellbeing
How you occupy your time or simply liking what you do every day
Social Wellbeing
Having strong relationships and love in your life
Financial Wellbeing
Effectively managing your economic life
Physical Wellbeing
Having good health and enough energy to get things done on a daily basis
Community Wellbeing
The sense of engagement you have with the area where you live
 
Career Wellbeing is probably the most underestimated of the elements. When you ask people what affects their wellbeing most, they think of health and wealth. Even though people spend more of their waking hours at work than anywhere else, people underestimate how work influences their overall wellbeing and daily experience.

All the aspects overlap. But when we were studying Career Wellbeing around the world, we quickly found that this element is much broader than the traditional workplace. It's more about interest and purpose and whether people have a chance to use their strengths regularly. Along with studying people with traditional careers, we studied students, stay-at-home parents, retirees, volunteers, and people without a regular nine-to-five job. In any of these life situations, there are many people with thriving Career Wellbeing, and there are also many who are struggling.

When people think about work in general, they often think of it as a burden or something they have to do for money. Regardless of how much we've studied and talked about engagement and its importance - and quality of the workplace and its importance - most people think of work as a chore, not something that benefits their wellbeing.

Work is crucial to how we relate to people and evaluate our lives at a very basic level, so ensure you are happy at work and if not make changes to improve your Career Wellbeing. Our wellbeing is related to each of the five elements and underlying these there is often a deep spiritual connection or intuition which drives all these elements to fuse together.

Happiness is a State of Mind

We rarely ponder what happiness is and if we and our loved one's are actually happy. Do we know when we are at our happiest? Sometimes we may catch ourselves having a good old belly laugh with great company and look around and think why does this not happen more often. We have been conditioned to rush through our busy schedules packed with deadlines and mundane commitments that all to often we do not want to keep. Why is this? Very little time is spent just being in the moment and enjoying the pure joy of life. We chase things in the hope that they will provide us with the coveted prize of happiness, only to find that when we get to our destination, the goalposts have been moved again.

Personally I have experienced this many times. The most striking of which was when I was completing my Masters in Psychology. I love studying and learning about this amazing brain of ours, but I never truly appreciated the joy of studying at that time, as I was constantly longing to finish it. I would talk about all the things that would happen when I completed the course, only to find that nothing actually happened, apart from graduating. It took a long time after that to fully appreciate and integrate what I had learnt and achieved. Although looking back it taught me a valuable lesson about being happy in the moment and now whenever I enrol in a course I commit to enjoying the process, not just the outcome.

I recognise that happiness is actually a state of mind. It is our take on things, our beliefs about a situation. False beliefs as the quote below powerfully demonstrates are the only real cause of unhappiness. Therefore I urge you to ask yourself what makes you happy. You will be surprised to find the answers and feelings that you have associated with happiness.


"There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them."
Anthony de Mello

If you are interested in reading more about Happiness, Dr Robert Holden has written a fabulous book titled 'Happiness Now' and it is packed with tips and strategies to help you be your happiest!

Have a Happy Day!

Learning from Micheal Jackson

I woke up to the news of the sudden death of Micheal Jackson. Whenever death strikes it reminds us of our own mortality and the fragility of life. Regardless of your opinions of the allegations that were filed against him, there is no doubt that Micheal was a hugely talented individual that brought much pleasure and entertainment to millions of people's lives. In his 50 years he won 13 Grammy awards, travelled the world and sold over 75 million records. Thriller alone, which is the top-selling album of all time, had sales exceeding 41 million.

Micheal's phenomenal success as an entertainer shows us what can be achieved by one individual with a vision. He was a gifted singer and was catapulted to stardom as a child, but his continued success was down to his determination and vision to do what he loved, which was songwriting and performing.

If one person can have that kind of success perfecting their craft, what could you do in your life time?

1. What is your purpose?
2. What would you like to do so much that you would feel truly blessed if you could do it everyday and get paid for it?
3. What activities do you do that you don't notice time passing?
4. What burning desire has come back to you again and again over the years?
5. If you knew what you should be doing, what would it be?
6. If you were not concerned with the judgements of others what would you do?

Answer the questions above honestly and you will be closer to uncovering your true purpose. We all have a sense of what we would really like to do, now starting taking tentative steps to get you closer to living your purpose. It might be buying an inspirational book, talking to someone that has done what you would like to do, writing down your goals or attending an evening course. The step itself is not important, what is is making a commitment to honour yourself and pursue your purpose.

As you read the questions you will undoubtably have resistances and negative self talk that pops up. Acknowedge these resistances, but continue to ponder the questions. When you are living a life that you choose, you are happier and in turn this allows people around you to begin to acknowledge their own purpose.

Go ahead and live a life of possibilities.