Is what you believe, true?

The title of this blog is to probe you to ponder about what you actually believe!

We often go through life not really questioning what we have become to believe is true. Or why we do things that do not make us happy or repeat experiences that we know have negative outcomes. Sound familiar? We all do this to a greater or lesser extent and the reasons for this can include, self sabotage, self doubt, fear of success or failure and concern of what others will think.

It can also be due to messages we received from parents and people around us when we were growing up. These messages however subtle can influence us greatly in later life. We have formed a set of beliefs which we defend and justify furiously if needed. However, on closer inspection it is interesting to see where these beliefs originate and if indeed they are true or helpful to us. They may have served a purpose in our early years, but need to be replaced now.

An example of a belief that is not helpful could be that you believe that people don't want you to be successful. On closer inspection you may be able to pinpoint when you first adopted this belief and then look at how this belief may have negatively impacted on you in different areas of your life. We often realise that these beliefs have no substance to them and are a faulty belief that we have often picked up from someone else.

Now the good news is that these beliefs can be replaced and in a relatively short period of time. In the same way that you can decide to have champagne and strawberries for morning tea, instead of your usual latte and muffin, replacing beliefs works in the same way. Make a conscious decision to replace a negative belief. In the example we have used, you could replace the belief that people don't want you to be successful with 'everyone I come in to contact with is helping me to succeed in all I do'.

This may feel a little awkward initially, but with a bit of practice it will become natural. It will also make a big difference to what you achieve from now on. Give it a go and see what happens.

Ever made changes to impress others??

Be very clear about your motivation behind making positive changes. Is it to impress others? because if so it is much harder to keep up the pretence as it is not coming from your authentic self.

As Wayne Dyer said "I would rather be loathed for who I am than loved for who I am not." What a powerful statement and so true.

I once dated a guy that was so not me, but I was crazy about him. He had a great job, fast car, fab townhouse in the city and the arrogance to match. I tried to mould myself into being something I wasn't. From pretending that it was okay if he only called once a week, (it wasn't) to not responding promptly to my texts, (painful) to hanging out with his friends, (deadly boring) to wearing ridiculously high heels, (ouch) to hearing him speak down to others (I hate that) to preening myself so much before a date that I hardly recognised myself (sad really). Well I am pleased to say after a few short months I came to my senses, but at the time I so desperately wanted him to fall for me that I was willing to compromise who I was in order to impress him. What I now realise is that he was never going to be right for me. This painful process taught me alot about myself and in a way I am glad I went through it as it has shown me that when you are not being true to yourself you end pleasing nobody.

Who are you trying to please at the moment? A boss, colleague, friend, partner, sibling, people you hardly know? Become clear about who you are and honour the magnificence within you. Gauge how you feel when you are trying to impress others, be authentic and people will warm much more to the real you. I promise.