What are your Re-solutions for 2010?

As another year draws to a close you may find yourself spending time reflecting on the past twelve months or indeed the past decade as the noughties passes us by. Take stock of your successes as well as your failures. It is important to honour your accomplishments in the past year and congratulate yourself on how well you have done.

As you turn your attention to what the coming year may hold, think about what changes you may want to make. Do you want a better car, new home, to lose some weight, change jobs? Whatever it is, it is possible to achieve these things, but it is down to you. I heard a quote recently which makes alot of sense: "Nobody can push you into the success you deserve." If you are not really happy with your life and how the last twelve months have been, then now is a great time to think about what is not working and how you could make changes to get more of what you do want. Did you make re-solutions last year? If so, did you keep them? If not, explore why. Were your resolutions accompanied by a plan to help you succeed or were they just a sweeping statements which you make every year?

In order for your life to really change and to not be in the same situation next year you need to take action towards achieving and keeping your resolutions. Your resolutions needs to have a practical solution and get you excited when you think about them. It was reported recently that 90% of people that make new years resolutions break them within the first month. Don't be another statistic next year. Decide on what you want and then set about achieving it.

Wishing you a fabulous and successful 2010.

What is the best version of yourself?

When you are being the best version of yourself, what does your life look like?

When you are being the least liked version of yourself, what does your life look like?

What springs to mind? Write it down quickly without thinking to much about it. You may be surprised by your answers. Interestingly, when we are being the best version of ourselves other parts of our lives seem to follow suit. For example, managing household chores, our wellbeing, our work all seem to have a certain ease and grace which enables us to complete tasks effortlessly.

Thinking about the worst version of yourself helps you get perspective about areas of your life that are not working. This version of yourself no doubt limits you in so many ways and makes you unhappy and unmotivated. Therefore, if you know how good being the best version of yourself feels, why would you want to live your life any other way? The benefits of being the best version of yourself are endless and you deserve those benefits. You are worthy of great things.

If completing this little exercise has made you aware that you are not being the best version of yourself, then don't despair just start to make incremental changes towards your best self. Believe me if will eagerly repay you and help you along the way. Start by doing something small today towards regaining the best version of yourself. The key to regaining your best self is not to get overwhelmed, just take it slow and make tiny little changes daily. The changes that are required are different for everyone and you have an inner knowing as to what those changes should be.

Here's to the best version of you!

The Reality of Reality TV

I was prompted to write this after being awoken having dreamt of a guy having pec implants! I traced the origins of this back to a programme that I had been mindlessly watching the day before. It was a reality show where a bride and groom agree to have cosmetic surgery and not see each other for the month prior to their big day. Now call me old fashioned, but I find this pretty extreme and somehow sad that these people are willing to put themselves under the knife all for vanity. However I did give it an hour of my time in order to see the end result!

This got me thinking about how I use tv and how the flurry of reality tv programmes enables us to focus on the flaw's of others, rather than think about our own. We happily judge and idly gossip about another's behaviour without having to dwell on ours. Funny that many people say that they do not have time to focus on the things that are important to them, but yet they find the time to focus on things that will be meaningless in a few short days or months. We are often quick to judge the lives of others we see on tv, but are unwilling to clean up our own.

Through reality tv we get caught up in the lives of others and in turn we allow others to determine what we focus on. Have you ever found yourself watching tv when you know you should be doing something important like attending to your family? Or looking at people on tv enviably because they are doing what you long to do? Yet you prefer to attend to the remote control.

If so, then it is not to late to reclaim those lost hours. I am not saying that you have to stop watching tv completely, just choose more carefully what you watch and when. Decide how much and when you want to use your tv, rather than just having it on for the sake of it. Watch what you really enjoy and gain value from and ditch the rest. Remember the people on the screen are strangers and forever will be. Don't let your own greatness pass you by whilst lounging on the sofa watching life, but not living life.

Unleash The Mighty Toddler Within

We are born with an ability to get all of our needs met, be it a clean nappy, milk, cuddles, comfort, attention etc. As newborns when we became aware of our empty tummy we would wail excessively, prompting our caregiver into action. This is because our survival depended on it. Then as we become toddlers we have a supreme sense of self worth which allows us to engage with the world expecting to get our needs fulfilled. At this age we more often than not get exactly what we desire. To see this in action, watch a toddler decide that they want a certain toy. Very little will prevent them from getting it!

We can learn a lot from the behaviour of children and how we can incorporate some of their determination and focus into our own lives.

You know the drill, you decide that you are sick and tired of the way things have been and make a pact with yourself to make some changes. You may even write your goals down and have great intentions of achieving them. You can feel that you are on the brink of living a truly awesome life and can taste the sweet smell of success and then what happens? You hit a roadblock and instead of seeing this for what it is, a minor setback which needs a solution, it stops you in your tracks and you retreat into the comfort and often boredom of your everyday life, less determined to step outside of your comfort zone again!

Life was not intended to be lived this way. People who lead amazing lives take risks and are willing to stretch themselves regularly in many aspects of their lives. They are also less likely to be swayed by other people’s opinions, much like the mighty toddler. Many of us feel inspired to live our lives in a certain one or do something which we really enjoy, but stop short of actually doing it for fear of rejection or what others may think or say about us. As the adage goes ‘most people are too busy thinking about themselves to worry about what you’re thinking’. So if you know you are guilty of this, remember it is never too late to become who you might have been.

Unleash the mighty toddler within you and get what you want.

Stop trying to change your past..

Sounds strange, but many of us try and do this again and again. We endlessly obsess, re-live, revisit or replay scenes from our past in the hope we will gain a better understanding or clarity about our present lives. Some things are best forgotten and to waste more of your valuable energy revisiting them makes no sense.

For instance someone may have upset you that you do not particularly care for, so why then do you give away more of your valuable energy discussing it with anyone within earshot? We all fall into this trap sometimes, but the key is to become more aware of when you are doing this and stop yourself. Change the topic, no matter how difficult it is. This may seem hard to do in the beginning, particularly if you are having a juicy venting session with a friend, but think about it, does the person you are discussing deserve more of your precious time? Move on and let it go.

We also fall prey to trying to change our past. For instance you may feel that your parents did not do their best for you whilst you were growing up. Acknowledging and exploring this may be important, but be wary of letting it dominant your present life. As Dr Robert Holden puts it

"To be really happy, you have to give up all hopes of having a perfect past."

What a powerful quote, none of us have had a perfect past, but that does not have to dictate our present or future life.

Focus on all the things that are great in your present life and whilst you're at it show yourself some serious care and acknowledge how well you have coped with things in your past that were difficult.

Focus on what you want.. how hard can it be..?

Focus on what you want.. how hard can it be?

We often hear how we need to focus on what we want and not what we don't want. The films the Secret, Heal Your Life, What the Bleep Do We Know and The Shift discuss this which is also commonly known as the law of attraction or manifesting. There is also a myriad of books now available on this subject. The basic idea is that you attract the things you desire into your life by focusing on them. Easier said than done I hear you say..

Well here are 5 strategies which will help you get focused and start attracting what you do want:

1. Get clear about what you honestly want in your life - the more precise you can be about what tou desire, the more opportunity it has of showing up.
2. Speak it into existence - Start to talk about your dreams and hopes confidently and know that they will come true.
3. Surround yourself with like minded people - Avoid energy zappers and only share your vision with those who are excited about what you want to achieve.
4. Be open to new experiences and take risks - Just focusing on what you want and talking about it unfortunately is not not enough, start to take steps in achieving your goals. Join a networking group, learn a new skill, get a mentor or coach. Whatever it is take action to move you in the direction you want.
5. Know that you truly deserve what you desire - This is often hard for us to do as we may feel that others deserve their success, but somehow we are not worthy. Try to limit this type of thinking and know that there is more than enough for everyone and you deserve to be prosperous and fulfilled.

Happy manifesting!

Is what you believe, true?

The title of this blog is to probe you to ponder about what you actually believe!

We often go through life not really questioning what we have become to believe is true. Or why we do things that do not make us happy or repeat experiences that we know have negative outcomes. Sound familiar? We all do this to a greater or lesser extent and the reasons for this can include, self sabotage, self doubt, fear of success or failure and concern of what others will think.

It can also be due to messages we received from parents and people around us when we were growing up. These messages however subtle can influence us greatly in later life. We have formed a set of beliefs which we defend and justify furiously if needed. However, on closer inspection it is interesting to see where these beliefs originate and if indeed they are true or helpful to us. They may have served a purpose in our early years, but need to be replaced now.

An example of a belief that is not helpful could be that you believe that people don't want you to be successful. On closer inspection you may be able to pinpoint when you first adopted this belief and then look at how this belief may have negatively impacted on you in different areas of your life. We often realise that these beliefs have no substance to them and are a faulty belief that we have often picked up from someone else.

Now the good news is that these beliefs can be replaced and in a relatively short period of time. In the same way that you can decide to have champagne and strawberries for morning tea, instead of your usual latte and muffin, replacing beliefs works in the same way. Make a conscious decision to replace a negative belief. In the example we have used, you could replace the belief that people don't want you to be successful with 'everyone I come in to contact with is helping me to succeed in all I do'.

This may feel a little awkward initially, but with a bit of practice it will become natural. It will also make a big difference to what you achieve from now on. Give it a go and see what happens.

M&M's.. Motive, Method & Maintenance

Motive

Take a moment to think about what truly motivates you? What spurs you into action? What things are you truly passionate about? What gives you the most joy? What motivates you is personal and it is imperative not to go along with other peoples interests when you know it is not your true passion. We may do this at work or with family members. We pretend that we want something in order not to disappoint others. However, this always ends in disappointment as we cannot sustain the level of enthusiasm or commitment needed to fulfil the goal. Get really clear about what it is you want; be it in your personal, spiritual or professional life and then set about taking small steps in that direction.

Method

When you are thinking about the steps you are going to take, brainstorm the method you will put in place to achieve these goals. For example it is all well and good saying you are going to lose 10 kilos by Christmas, but how are you going to actually do this? It could be to plan and prepare meals at home and walk to the shops instead of hopping in the car. Regardless of what it is unless you have a method in place which you are disciplined in enforcing, you will fall short in achieving your goals. How many of us have great ideas and plans, but do little to help them become a reality? If you are guilty of this, then start to think about ways to change things.


Maintenance

Okay, so you are clear about what motivates you and how you are going to achieve your goals, but what happens once you do? It is all to easy to congratulate ourselves and then to fall back into old habits. Therefore when setting goals, think about what maintaining them will look like. What balance do you need to strike that stretches you, but is manageable? and ultimately it has to bring you joy. If something is a chore or you don't enjoy it, you will not be able to maintain it and why should you?, as surely part of our purpose is to find out what we love doing and then go right out and find ways to do more of it.

So next time you are setting a goal, think about the 3 M's and I wish you every success in living an abundant life.

What Makes You Feel Great?

"Don't ask what the world needs - ask what makes you come alive and go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." Reverend Howard Thurman

The quote above beautifully demonstrates how what you are really passionate about and love doing is what the world wants. Strange occurrences and synchronicities begin to fall into alignment when you are living the life you were meant to lead.

Look back at periods in your life when you felt really great and fulfilled:
What were you doing?
Was it a special project?
With a certain person?
In a different country?
In a past job?

No matter what the circumstances were, you can replicate that sense of purpose and fulfilment again. When I think back on the times when I was most content it was actually when I was fundraising. Not only was I fulfilled, I was also highly productive. Things which I needed would show up in unusual ways. People would come forward and offer assistance, often for free.
An example of this was when I decided to train for the New York marathon for a charity which helps children suffering from leukaemia. I organised a charity ball and strangers offered assistance with things such as decorating the venue, entertainment on the night etc. This clearly demonstrated to me that when you are in alignment people pick up on that and want to help.

So think about when you are happiest and fulfilled. It may be a hobby which you love, but don’t think you could make money doing it as a job. Or it might be a job you had a few years which you really loved. Look to other people who have done what you aspire to do and find out their story.
Start doing more of what makes you feel great and you will begin to feel even greater! Reduce or eliminate the things which make you feel bad and unmotivated. You might need to:

· improve your diet
· exercise more
· talk to negative people less, (see my entry on energy zappers for more info on this)
· sleep more
· stress less

Take baby steps on your road to feeling great, but above all be true to your real self.

Do you make things harder than they need to be?

Over 700 years ago, William from a village called Ockham surmised that

"Entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity."

This has become known as “Ockham’s Razor”

This simple idea has become a universal tool for proving things in science, philosophy, psychology and theology. The idea is that the process with the least amount of steps tends to be the one that will have the best outcome.

Or as Albert Einstein said:

"Everything should be made as simple as possible - but no simpler."

Therefore we should not overcomplicate things. We often do this when we are trying to avoid taking action, be it forever planning a project, or what we are going to do in the future or researching a paper, but spending little time actually writing it! This is often due to fear or lack of belief in our abilities which can lead us to procrastinate far longer than necessary. Successful people bite the bullet and deal with things in a methodical manner, so why don’t you?

Complicating facets of our lives also helps shift responsibility away from us, as we try to blame other factors for our lack of action. If this rings true for you, try to become aware of when you are making things more difficult than they ought to be and gently question why you may be doing this. You may be surprised by the answers. Sometimes it can be because we don’t want to actually do the thing in the first place. If this is the case look at alternatives or if it must be done, try to do it thoroughly and quickly, but without over analysing. As the saying goes “analysis is paralysis”. Don’t get stuck at this stage, take some tentative steps towards your goal and I promise you, you will reap the rewards.

What you should know about advertising & your self worth

In our fast paced, workaholic, consumer obsessed society now more than ever we are feeling immense pressure to look good, be slim, own the latest beauty products and the hippest bag all in an attempt to keep up with the Jones’ or should I say the Hiltons’. Australia, the UK and America are three of the richest countries in the world, but recent reports suggest that we feel far more deprived than our predecessors. The reason for this in part is due to our insatiable appetite for all things celebrity. We are bombarded with trivial information about the lives of the rich and famous. We often aspire to have the things that our favourite celeb has, whether it be a Gucci handbag or the latest pair of Jimmy Shoes.

Advertisers are fully aware of the power of celebrity endorsements and use them to sell everything from slimming aids to hair dye. L’oreal is a truly multinational company and boosts ownership of the Body Shop and luxury brands such as Ralph Lauren and Giorgo Armani beauty products. Their infamous slogan ‘because your worth it’ was reportedly developed to justify the higher costs of their products compared to other leading brands. The slogan has proved hugely successfully and creates the illusion that you deserve to treat yourself to L’oreal products, partly due to the celebrity endorsements. This links into our feelings of self worth and esteem and thus we feel that if we purchase the products by L’oreal we are in some way worthier than if purchased another brand. Take for instance the latest advert for the new L’oreal eye roller. The advert says one is sold every eight seconds and asks do you have yours yet. This has the intention of making the viewer feel like they are missing out on something. Very clever marketing that works.

Become aware of how advertising affects you and more importantly your feelings of self worth. There has been an increase in the number of psychologists now working in the field of consumer psychology to describe, predict and influence our buying decisions. As we are being bombarded with more and more choices, advertisers are finding new ways to play on our emotions and encourage that all important purchase.

At the same time as a rise in psychologists working in consumer psychologists, psychologists have seen a dramatic increase in the last ten years of clients who are addicted to shopping and cosmetic surgery. Clients are using these quick fixes to make themselves feel better, only to find that it is never enough. They need to make changes within in order to feel worthy without the latest bag or beauty fad.

If you know that you are influenced by celebrities to purchase the latest slimming aid or designer pair of shoes, gently probe a little more detail to discover why you feel this way. Are there parts of you that does not feel worthy or content with who you are? Why not ditch the beauty magazines with airbrushed celebrities and mute the adverts on TV and read something uplifting and inspirational instead. Remember you are a magnificent unique individual and you are worth it!

The Hidden Reasons We Use Our Mobiles

Who’s really in Control? - Using and Abusing Technology

The hidden reasons we use our mobiles

Having just returned from a week’s stay at a health retreat where mobile phones were banned and computers were confined to your rooms, I became profoundly aware of the influence technology plays in one’s everyday life. I decided to leave my mobile at home, as I knew I would have difficulty resisting the temptation to use it.

Initially I found myself feeling the urge to send a text or check my phone, but this urge soon passed and what eventuated was a wonderful experience where I met interesting new people and enjoyed the art of conversation, without being interrupted by a mobile. This enabled the guests to be fully focused and present and the conversations were often candid and in-depth. I noticed that people were more open than maybe they would have been had they had their mobiles with them.

The time whizzed by and upon my return from a blissful week free of mobile phones, I was greeted by a neighbour who I have not seen for some time. We were deep in conversation when her mobile sounded. She immediately rummaged through her bag, retrieved the phone, answered it and gently bid me goodbye. This brought it home to me how as a society we are often ruled by our mobiles and more importantly our acceptance of the intrusion which they cause. We would never dream of bidding someone abruptly goodbye because we saw someone else we knew, but somehow we accept it without question when the phone rings.

I invite you to think about how you use your mobile phone on a daily basis. Also think about the time you spend idling texting or gossiping, when perhaps it could be better spent doing something else. Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for staying connected and strongly believe as a coach that social support is a fundamental aspect of our wellbeing, but just be aware of why you are using your mobile. Reflect on when you are most likely to use or overuse your mobile; is it when you are bored, stressed, frustrated, avoiding something or feeling low?

Next time you reach for your mobile, probe a little more deeply about your reasons for texting, talking to someone or playing a game. You may be surprised by the answers. If you find you use your mobile for far more than just communicating and it is maybe an avoidance mechanism, gently think of other things that may help you feel better about yourself. Do you phone others to bolster you when you feel a little down or want answers about yourself to comfort you? Calling people for reassurance occasionally is fine, but doing it on a all the time is most likely a sign that you need to trust yourself more.

Tips to De-Stress

Here are my top ten tips for de-stress. The first five are related to physical wellbeing and the five underneath are related to psychological wellbeing. Will do an entry on each one in the coming weeks. Hope you like the illustrations!

Who is the Real YOU?

How do you view your real self? Is it in a way that you would not share with others openly or frankly or are there certain parts of you that you would not openly verbalise to anyone? In order to have the life you want you must get honest about the person you are and celebrate being you.

Get clear about what you really want, not what you think you should want or what others want, but what things come back to you again and again and will not be silenced unless you act on them. We all have a sense of what we would like our ideal lives to look like, but all to often this is where it stops and the excuses begin. Take a baby step today to living your ideal life and you will be surprised by how much better you feel just by doing something, rather than talking or thinking about it.

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.” Margaret Young

People, things and situations gradually unfold to guide us further along our path once we commit to honouring what we truly want and who we truly are. The well known humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers spoke about our real and ideal selves and said the greater the gap between the two the more suffering we will experience. Therefore it is imperative to be honest with yourself about your limitations and most importantly your potential. If you make disparging remarks about yourself, stop it. Whether it is in the form of self talk or how you describe yourself to others it is very damaging and works by reinforcing those feelings about yourself (that are often untrue). Start today by honouring who you are and start to try and embrace the parts of you which you have trouble liking. Go on, you are worth it.

Courses Lisa is teaching at MWCC

Lisa is teaching three upcoming courses at MWCC and here is a brief outline of the courses on offer:

Be You Own Life Coach - An exciting course which looks at the four essential elements of living a successful life including thought patterns, how we cope, meaning and purpose, health and re-creation. Various psychological techniques will be utilised including cognitive behavioural therapy, mindfulness, coaching, visualisations and meditation.

Why Weight - This course focuses on the psychology of weight loss, as well as practical strategies regarding nutrition and exercise. It is a structured 6 week program which will help you achieve lasting weight loss in a nurturing environment. Optional weigh in’s are done at the commencement and conclusion of the course. In this program the fundamental principles of weight loss will be considered from a psychological perspective How our emotions and thought processes can positively aid us to lose weight and maintain a healthy balanced lifestyle. How to stop self sabotage in its tracks! Various psychological techniques will be utilised including cognitive behavioural therapy, visualisation and meditation.

You Yummy Mummy - A course which takes time out to honour the massive changes involved in becoming a mum and helps you get in touch with your true essence. Includes the use of various psychological techinques including journaling, meditation and challenging negative thought patterns. This workshop will assist you in celebrating being a woman and ensure that you feel like a yummy mummy.

Go to the Manly Warringah Community College website for more information and to sign up:
http://www.mwcc.nsw.edu.au/docs/index.php

Successful People Never Confuse Activity with Progress

Often we rush through our day doing lots of different things, but what exactly do we achieve? We are so busy going through the motions as they say, that we allow very little time to effectively plan our day, instead we just keeping doing the same set things and strangely we often expect different results. Regardless of whether you are at work, home, or in social settings, how much time do you actively think about the activity that you are doing? How do you measure if that activity has been a success? To often our mind is on to the next thing before we have even completed the task we are working on.

There has been much talk regarding the virtues of multi-tasking, however if we are not fully attentative to the task at hand we do not produce our best work. Recent research from Harvard University suggests that when people multi-task the standard of their work suffers. Indeed the research concluded that focusing on one task at a time can actually save us time.

Thinking about multi-tasking reminds me of when I was a student I worked in a call centre for a large mobile phone company. I can vividly recall a customer calling me with an enquiry and in the background there was alot of noise. She told me that she was in a queue at her local bank. She also had young children with her and sounded very harassed. I had to ask her a series of questions and she was very curt in her responses. She then told me that she ws trying to do to many things at once, without thinking I replied 'well don't'. On reflection this was a pretty rude thing to say, but to my surprise and relief she actually agreed. She then decided to take a seat in the bank and we finished our call. Now as a busy mum I can relate to this lady's plight, but it also makes me aware of the things that I need to get done in a single day and I plan accorindingly, often around my son's nap time!

Successful people effectively plan their day and don't waste time on tasks that give them little gain. They set goals and then put steps in place to achieve them. They monitor their progress regularly and adjust course when needed. How often do you do this? If you do then good on you, you are no doubt reaping the benefits of your diligience.

However, if you don't it's never to late to start. Try to fully commit to being present in the moment and plan how you will measure your progress in different areas of your life. Then watch how much more you accomplish. List things that need to be completed and then plan the best times to achieve them. Be mindful of your progress and stay on track.

Successful people review their progress regulalary and adjust course if needed.

It's Good to say NO!

If you are not particularly assertive you may have real trouble verbalising the little word 'no'. The word carries lots of unpleasant associations and can be emotionally loaded. That's why so many of us nice, friendly, people pleaser types struggle with this word, even when we know it needs to be said. In my experience the top ten reasons we may be afraid to say no include:

1. Bring rejected
2. Disappointing others
3. Being judged
4. An awkwardness that may arise
5. Scared of embarrassment
6. Triggering an uncomfortable exchange
7. Fearful
8. Not feel entitled to saying no
9. Feel unworthy
10. Feel selfish

I have experienced all of these feelings at one time or another and as a consequence not stood my ground when people have taken advantage. When you do not have the courage to say no, what you are really saying is the other person is more important and valuable than you. This simply is not so. You deserve to be heard and valued as much as anyone else. It may also be a way of feeling sorry for yourself and allowing you to avoid dealing with personal problems. In counselling psychology boundaries are spoken of often and what has been found is that many people with low self esteem do not set up healthy boundaries with those around them. They allow others to continually take from them, even though they have a niggling feeling that it is not right. Put simply a boundary is a system of limit setting that protects you from being a victim.

If this resonates with you and you know you need to learn to say no, then start today. Increase your awareness of things that you say yes to, when you really mean no. For example, you may be invited to something and on impulse you say yes, but afterwards you realise you don't want to go and you then spend unnecessary time thinking about how you will get out of atending. Successful people do not do this, so why should you. Next time you are invited to something, take your time to think it over rather than just saying yes because you don't want to disappoint the other person.

Once you starting saying no people around you begin to respect you far more than they did previously. As the saying goes if you don't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to. You may also want to pinpoint where your people pleasing behaviour originated. It can be from messages we picked up from our parents, teachers etc or our place of work. However, regardless of where it stems from, it can be changed in a relatively short space of time once you are mindful of it.

Make a Commitment

Just a quick entry today to share a very powerful quote related to commitment. If you are struggling with commiting to change then read on:


"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issue from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it.
Begin it now."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749-1832

Begin your journey now, even if it is just by making a small change you will be surprised at how much better you feel. If you want your own business, you could get some business cards made up or if you need to confront someone then do it now. Regardless of what the steps are, just taking one will start you on the right path. Believe me I know all about hesitancy and self doubt, but once you commit to change wonderful things begin to happen. It can take a long time to see progress, but know that it is taking place and once you make your intentions clear then you can't help, but be guided to the next step. Begin to believe and recognise the magnificent person you are and other people will see it too.

"Thank God It's Monday"

How often have you heard 'Thank God it's Monday' uttered from yours or someone else's lips? I am guessing not to often. However, for those few individuals who are living and following their true purpose they regularly feel that way. The old confucius saying goes something like:

'Do what you love and you will never have to work another day in your life'.

Wise words and the following quote by Bob Dylan sums it up nicely:

"A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do."

If you are living your true purpose then congratulations, but if you are not and find yourself groaning with that Sunday night feeling loaded with dread of the working week to come then it is time to make some changes. Ask yourself the following questions:

1) If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do?
2) What could prevent you from achieving this?
3) What resources do you already have that could help you?
4) Who could assist you?
5) What’s your main concern?
6) How could you overcome this?
7) What would your ideal life include?
8) Who do you know that has already done what you would like to do?
9) What did they do?
10) What could you do in the next week that would take you closer to achieving what you want?

I wish you every success in cultivating that 'Thank God it's Monday' feeling.

No Time? How Much TV Do You Watch?

You may recall in the '7 Ways Consume Less, Create More' blog entry I discussed turning off the television to get your creativity flowing. We often don’t realize how television eats away at our time. For example let's do the maths:

• If you watch 4 hours of tv a night (say you watch tv between 6pm & 10pm, which arguably many households do)


• Therefore in a week that amounts to 28 hours


• Not including the weekends where many people watch more sports etc or in the cold winter months when we tend to stay inside & tune into the box more


• On average in a month that is 121 hours of tv


• Therefore in a year that amounts to 1,452 hours


• Which equates to a staggering 60 days


• In other words you spend two months of each year watching tv..

Sounds hard to believe, but if you check the figures they are correct. When I discussed this with my partner he found it hard to swallow as he is often attached to the remote control.. Now don't get me wrong there are certain programs that I thoroughly enjoy and I am not suggesting that you ditch the telly completely, but I am hoping that by reading this it makes you aware of what you could achieve if you watched tv less.

Personally I have many plans in the coming year, most importantly to give birth to a healthy baby a the end of October, to work more on my business and establish my writing & speaking career. With a busy toddler in tow it is often tempting when he has finally fallen asleep to retreat to the lounge and mindlessly watch tv for a couple of hours. However, I often find when I do that I end up irritated and actually have trouble sleeping, unless it is 'Secret Millionaire' of course which I think should be compulsory viewing for all aspiring millionaires. I try to limit the amount of tv that I watch and will only watch programs that I can learn from or that I thoroughly enjoy.

Seriously though, next time you hear yourself saying 'I would like to do that, but I don't have the time', think about unlocking some of that valuable time by limiting the amount of tv you watch. The least you can do is press the mute button whilst the adverts are on so you don't expose yourself to promotions for things that you don't actually need. Use the three minute advert breaks to ponder on the things you would do if you did have the time...

Break Down Your Job to Use Time More Effectively

Breaking down your job in Organisational Psychology is called Job Analysis which involves a trained psychologist describing the observable behaviour of your job, which determines essential duties, tasks and responsibilities. The analysis establishes job specific activities and helps create a precise job description. We have all experienced jobs and you may be in one now where the job description handed to you at the interview stage resembles very little to your actual day to day activities. Normally we end up doing far more than what was described.

In the absence of a trained psychologist observing you, it is a good idea to break down your own job into different components and look closely at the tasks and activities that you spend the most and the least of your time on. It can be quite an eye opener when you become aware of how much time you may spend surfing the net or on one activity that is actually not that important. We often avoid the tasks that are difficult or we like the least. We all do this and it is part of human nature, but just think how much happier you could be for the rest of the day if you get the boring or difficult stuff out of the way. Breaking down your job also provides a means of discovering areas that you may need further training or help on.

If you are not in paid in employment you can analyse how you spend your time at home. For me personally I will do lots of other tasks like updating my blog! writing, general tidying, even polishing before I will hang out the washing! The more honestly aware we become of how we spend our time we begin to use it more effectively.

There is a great little book called 'Eat That Frog' by the leadership guru Brian Tracy about how to limit procrastination, set priorities and get started straight away. He believes that by tackling the most unpleasant job (eating the frog!) first if frees us up for the rest of the day to be far more productive and complete jobs faster.

Go ahead and analysis your own job, you might surprise yourself with just how much you do! If it is far above your job description, it may also be advisable to discuss this with your HR department.

Happiness is a State of Mind

We rarely ponder what happiness is and if we and our loved one's are actually happy. Do we know when we are at our happiest? Sometimes we may catch ourselves having a good old belly laugh with great company and look around and think why does this not happen more often. We have been conditioned to rush through our busy schedules packed with deadlines and mundane commitments that all to often we do not want to keep. Why is this? Very little time is spent just being in the moment and enjoying the pure joy of life. We chase things in the hope that they will provide us with the coveted prize of happiness, only to find that when we get to our destination, the goalposts have been moved again.

Personally I have experienced this many times. The most striking of which was when I was completing my Masters in Psychology. I love studying and learning about this amazing brain of ours, but I never truly appreciated the joy of studying at that time, as I was constantly longing to finish it. I would talk about all the things that would happen when I completed the course, only to find that nothing actually happened, apart from graduating. It took a long time after that to fully appreciate and integrate what I had learnt and achieved. Although looking back it taught me a valuable lesson about being happy in the moment and now whenever I enrol in a course I commit to enjoying the process, not just the outcome.

I recognise that happiness is actually a state of mind. It is our take on things, our beliefs about a situation. False beliefs as the quote below powerfully demonstrates are the only real cause of unhappiness. Therefore I urge you to ask yourself what makes you happy. You will be surprised to find the answers and feelings that you have associated with happiness.


"There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them."
Anthony de Mello

If you are interested in reading more about Happiness, Dr Robert Holden has written a fabulous book titled 'Happiness Now' and it is packed with tips and strategies to help you be your happiest!

Have a Happy Day!

Our Deepest Fear

The poem below was written by Marianne Willamson and is probably in my opinion some of the most inspirational words ever written. I have this poem positioned in pride of place in my study and get chills when I read it. What is your gut feeling deep within when you read it?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

How do these words affect you?

Remember who are you not to be powerful beyond measure?

Go ahead and let your light shine.

Learning from Micheal Jackson

I woke up to the news of the sudden death of Micheal Jackson. Whenever death strikes it reminds us of our own mortality and the fragility of life. Regardless of your opinions of the allegations that were filed against him, there is no doubt that Micheal was a hugely talented individual that brought much pleasure and entertainment to millions of people's lives. In his 50 years he won 13 Grammy awards, travelled the world and sold over 75 million records. Thriller alone, which is the top-selling album of all time, had sales exceeding 41 million.

Micheal's phenomenal success as an entertainer shows us what can be achieved by one individual with a vision. He was a gifted singer and was catapulted to stardom as a child, but his continued success was down to his determination and vision to do what he loved, which was songwriting and performing.

If one person can have that kind of success perfecting their craft, what could you do in your life time?

1. What is your purpose?
2. What would you like to do so much that you would feel truly blessed if you could do it everyday and get paid for it?
3. What activities do you do that you don't notice time passing?
4. What burning desire has come back to you again and again over the years?
5. If you knew what you should be doing, what would it be?
6. If you were not concerned with the judgements of others what would you do?

Answer the questions above honestly and you will be closer to uncovering your true purpose. We all have a sense of what we would really like to do, now starting taking tentative steps to get you closer to living your purpose. It might be buying an inspirational book, talking to someone that has done what you would like to do, writing down your goals or attending an evening course. The step itself is not important, what is is making a commitment to honour yourself and pursue your purpose.

As you read the questions you will undoubtably have resistances and negative self talk that pops up. Acknowedge these resistances, but continue to ponder the questions. When you are living a life that you choose, you are happier and in turn this allows people around you to begin to acknowledge their own purpose.

Go ahead and live a life of possibilities.

Depression & You

We often say that we are down or depressed, but how many of us actually know the clinical symptoms of depression? The most common psychological disorder reported by GP's is depression. In order to be diagnosed with depression an individual must report most of the following symptoms over a two week period:

· feeling sad most of the time
· lost interest in most of your usual activities
· lost or gained weight
· felt excessively guilty
· sleep disturbance
· felt worthless
· had poor concentration
· were very indecisive

Looking at the list above, I think many people may have experienced these symptoms at one time or another. There is no one single cause of depression and consequently there is no one quick fix either. What is important to remember is that the individual suffering from depression is not doing it for attention, or trying to be difficult, they are genuinely struggling with their emotions and no doubt finding it increasingly difficult to do their job effectively.

It has been reported that of those that see a life coach, a fifth of clients have symptoms that could classify them as having clinical depression. This suggests that people may view seeing a coach as more acceptable than going to see a psychologist or counsellor. With the dramatic increase in the acceptance and use of coaches in the corporate arena, it is imperative that if a client appears to have depression they are referred to a psychologist who can assist them more fully. That said coaching alone may go along way in helping to restore a persons self esteem and give them more clarity in the workplace and beyond.

There are many strategies for helping an individual alleviate the symptoms of depression including, healthy diet, relaxation techniques, meditation, exercise, medication and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). CBT helps individuals become aware of negative thought patterns and destructive actions which often follow. In a recent American study moderate, regular exercise was found to be as effective as anti-depressants for patients suffering from mild depression. Therefore with many workplaces now offering gymnasiums on site or subsidised membership to gymnasiums this is great news for those of us that may be experiencing depression or are feeling a little blue. Individuals often try to self-medicate through food, alcohol, caffeine, sugar or drugs. These vices may indeed provide a quick fix, but they do not get to the root of the illness and will often aggravate it further.

If you or someone you know may be suffering from depression, early intervention ensures that you will get the help and support you need. Be honest about how you are feeling, as keeping things to yourself or pretending everything is fine will only aggravate the illness further. It is estimated that 60% of the population at some point in their lives will suffer from depression, therefore instead of denying how you are feeling, rest assured that many people have experienced depression, including well known celebrities like Jim Carey, Larry King & Britney Spears. It is not a life long illness and with support and taking positive steps depression can be managed successfully.

The following link is fort a quick depression self test.. The site also offers a wealth of information, factsheets and support.

http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/depression/howtotell/selftesting.cfm

Seven Ways to Create More and Consume Less

Being more creative in our everyday lives is easier then you think. Consuming less can help free us from the pressures that we often surround ourselves with. Here are seven practical ways to help you create more of what you want in your life, whilst consuming less.

1. Pay More, Eat Less
Where possible try to eat organic food, which tends to be more expensive, but on the whole is likely to have fewer toxins and often tastes superior. The quantity and quality of the food we consume has a huge impact on how well our minds and bodies can perform. With obesity levels and type II diabetes on the rise, it is more important than ever to limit the amount of processed food we consume.

2. Resist the Temptation to go to the Mall
Think about the last time you went to the mall. How did you feel while you were there and afterwards, energized, bored, frustrated? Did you need or even really want the things that you bought? We may wonder around aimlessly, but we are still actively processing on a subconscious level the bombardment of promotions that are around every corner. Next time you feel the urge to go to mall, be honest about what may be really going on. Once you begin to recognize the triggers of your consumption, you can begin to diminish its hold on you.

3. Don’t Buy Glossy Magazines
Be selective about what you read. As the song ‘Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen’ by Baz Luhrmann goes “Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly”. Reading magazines exposes us to a whole host of advertising that permeates through us and often influences the purchases we make. Low self esteem in adolescents has also been linked to reading glossy magazines. So ditch the magazines and read some inspirational, uplifting stories or biographies instead.

4. Turn Off The Television
We often don’t realize how television eats away at our time. For a week, try and keep a log of how often you watch television and how it makes you feel. At the end of the week reflect on how many hours you watch television and think about what you could achieve if you watched it less. Try to restrict the amount of television you watch and instead play a board game or just talk without any distractions.

5. Volunteer
Get involved in something that you feel passionate about, be it on a local, national or international level. Volunteering gives you the opportunity to meet like-minded people and appreciate the many gifts you have to offer. It is also a great way to explore a new career and gain new skills.

6. Exercise
Choose an exercise or team sport which you genuinely enjoy and you will be more likely to keep it up. If you would like to get fit, start with small achievable goals, such as being able to walk up the stairs without becoming breathless and then aim for bigger more challenging ones such as competing in a race. Besides the myriad of health benefits that regular exercise bestows upon us, it has also been found that after prolonged aerobic exercise creative thinking also improves

7. Love Your Job
If you love what you do for a living, you are likely to find your job rewarding, enjoyable and intellectually stimulating. However, if you are unhappy in your work, it is probable that you consume more in order to bury your discontentment. What facets of your job do you really enjoy? Are there ways that you could do more of what you like on a more regular basis? Often the things we like doing are also the things that we are naturally good at, so get creative and think about what you love about your work.

Stop hanging out with Energy Zappers

I have often allowed others to take from me on an energetic level, this is when I have spent time with people that I have allowed make me feel bad or sad. Why do we do that? Surely we know that our time is precious and valuable! Not always, sometimes we spend time with people that are not good for us because of our own low self esteem and feelings of worthlessness. Energy zappers are often quick to reinforce these feelings of worthlessness, as they also feel the same way. Energy zappers are highly insecure and given the chance will disregard or belittle your positivity, often in covert ways. It might be a subtle sidewards glance, a sigh or indeed ignoring your ideas or opinions. We can sometimes feel that we deserve no better, little wonder if these are the types of people we are around. The most successful people in the world know that you have to stop hanging around these people, or if this is not possible limit the time you spend with them. It is pretty easy to spot an energy zapper, next time you are with a person or group of people just check in with how you feel. Are you feeling; depressed, anxious, bored and despondent? Or are you feeling invigorated, excited, energetic and happy? If so, you are likely to be in the fine company of an energy giver. Who would you rather hang out with?

The same is true when you think about yourself, do you uplift and encourage those around you, if not, why not? You need to pinpoint what is keeping you stuck and overcome this. Only then can you truly shine and let others shine. If you know you are guilty of being an energy zapper, you don't have to stay that way. Make a choice to change:

"What you have been, is not who you can be." Anon

Respect each and every person, energy giver or zapper, but remember your time is very precious, spend it wisely. You are an amazing person, but maybe you just don't quite realise it yet.

Ever made changes to impress others??

Be very clear about your motivation behind making positive changes. Is it to impress others? because if so it is much harder to keep up the pretence as it is not coming from your authentic self.

As Wayne Dyer said "I would rather be loathed for who I am than loved for who I am not." What a powerful statement and so true.

I once dated a guy that was so not me, but I was crazy about him. He had a great job, fast car, fab townhouse in the city and the arrogance to match. I tried to mould myself into being something I wasn't. From pretending that it was okay if he only called once a week, (it wasn't) to not responding promptly to my texts, (painful) to hanging out with his friends, (deadly boring) to wearing ridiculously high heels, (ouch) to hearing him speak down to others (I hate that) to preening myself so much before a date that I hardly recognised myself (sad really). Well I am pleased to say after a few short months I came to my senses, but at the time I so desperately wanted him to fall for me that I was willing to compromise who I was in order to impress him. What I now realise is that he was never going to be right for me. This painful process taught me alot about myself and in a way I am glad I went through it as it has shown me that when you are not being true to yourself you end pleasing nobody.

Who are you trying to please at the moment? A boss, colleague, friend, partner, sibling, people you hardly know? Become clear about who you are and honour the magnificence within you. Gauge how you feel when you are trying to impress others, be authentic and people will warm much more to the real you. I promise.

Welcome to Be Informed, Be Inspired

Greetings all,



Welcome to my blog. Here I will share daily inspiration with you about Psychology, Coaching, Wellness, and more. I think when we are informed and inspired by what we read we are more likely to take positive action eventually..



In a recent study discussed in Virus of the Mind, by Richard Brodie it was found that when participants attended a self development course/seminar the feedback they gave immediately afterwards was really positive and they were sure they were going to implement what they had learnt. However, six months later in a follow-up study of the participants who said they were going to make postive changes only 3% had!



Sound familiar? We all to often have genunine intentions, but things just happen and we go back to our old ways not because we want to, but because we have been doing the same thing for so long that it is hard to break the cycle. Being an avid learner myself I have attended my fair share of self development programs and must hold my hand up to leaving an event and being pumped to experience my fab, sparkly new life that eagerly awaits me, only to find a week later that I have all but forgotten what I had learnt. The hastily scribed notes that I guarded like the whole grail during the course lay dormant, never to be opened again..



As a Psychology teacher, coach and speaker I am acutely aware of how important it is to gently encourage others to make beneficial changes in their lives and I also know how hard it can be! We hold onto old patterns of behaviour not because they work, but often because we are scared of the alternative. Change is scary, but the more we honour our true nature the easier positive change becomes.



Are there things that are not working in your life and you know are worthy of your attention? I have found personally and from clients that when we take just one habit and conquer it, it often gives us the push and confidence to take on bigger, more damaging habits. Go easy on yourself, write down your goals, be accountable, seek support, review and refine your goals and if necessary restart them.

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.” - Mark Twain